Stuff Jenny Forgot

Can you hear me now?

I think I remember how to do this! I only had to reset my password like 18 times but I am IN and we are BACK! If only someone had tried to steal our identity and go viral before now, perhaps our blog wouldn’t be defunct. Oh well! Big shout out to Lyz or whatever her name was for spurring us into action.

But anyway, we are alive and well and have been doing lots of fun things for the past couple years. Jenny mentioned some, but I thought I’d try to make her Non-Comprehensive List slightly less non-comprehensive, so I took a stroll through our Instagram feeds.

My LORD that girl takes a lot of pictures of herself.

At least she doesn’t mind looking like a moron in some of them.

Anyway.

Let’s see, what did we do for the past two years?

Well, we had two more editions of #SpreadsheetThanksgiving.

I’ve come a long way since the American cheese and spaghetti crock pot incident, people.

Our kids went trick or treating together. It was the 14th year in a row for these two.

Can you believe that? Me either. I would have been crying if I had not decided to take a red solo cup with me this year. Do you know how much wine fits in one of those things? A LOT. I think I stunned the neighbors by actually, like, talking to them as we walked through the ‘hood. Wine makes me FEEL THE THINGS, evidently.

Jenny’s been through several different phases of obsession since we’ve last talked. This photo demonstrates two such stages.

Someday I’m going to make a list of all the things she’s been enamored by over the years. CVS, coupons, mascara, the list is endless. I’m sure many of you could help me out with this endeavor.

She never tires, though, of her own face! And it’s only gotten worse now that she is in love with her hair.

Karma is a funny thing, though, because all the time I’ve spent making fun of Jenny’s vanity has come back to bite me in the @ss in the form of my 14 year old daughter, whose prized possession – a gigantic floor-to-ceiling mirror – brought Jenny to tears.

Well there you have it, the highlights, at least as far as we remember them. Thank you for the warm welcome back to our little corner of the internet, friends. We’re glad to be home.

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This Is What Happens When You Get Old

You guys, in the last 2 years since being I’ve been an inconsistent blogger, y’all have missed out on a lot in my life. Lucky for you, MUCH of what you missed including me complaining about the different old lady ailments I have suffered. The path to 40 has been a bit BUMPY.  I will spare you the lurid details FOR NOW (mwahahaha) but my various problems have included a bad back injury that I still have to baby, a bad flare-up of the DeQuervain’s syndrome I’ve had in my right hand/arm since I gave birth to Joshua fourteen LONG YEARS AGO, and various battles with ANXIETY, which has dogged me since I fought a bout with depression in 2008-2009 (which as you may recall I DID chronicle here on this blog).

All this to say, I now take a lot of SUPPLEMENTS, mostly in pill form, and use essential oils to help with my pain, mental health, and my stupid hormones.

I get really weary of taking pills, but they help! I take MSM for my hand pain, DIM for my hormonal acne, magnesium for my anxiety, and a good probiotic like we all shoud.

But there is ONE thing I take, that is not a pill, PRAISE THE LORD. It’s a supplement in powder form that I put in my breakfast shake, yogurt, coffee, or whatever food/drink I have at the time when I remember I need to take it. It’s Calcium + D, which has 1000 mg of calcium which women my age reallly need, and 1000 IU of Vitamin D3, which I really need for a variety of reasons but mostly my mental health. Living in Ohio, most of us here honestly don’t enough Vitamin D, and a deficiency there is no bueno.

This is my pro-mental health breakfast

I would not have heard of this godsend of a product if my friend Haley had not told me about it. The company she works for (who I used to work for) has Fit Formula Wellness, the makers of Calcium + D, as a client, so she asked me if I wanted to try it. I said yes because I LOVE HALEY, but to be honest, I wasn’t even THINKING about it for myself at first, but for Jonah. Turns out it’s great for both of us. Let me ‘splain.

As I mentioned in my last post, Jonah goes to the Brain Balance Center for some of his issues and he is doing ah-maz-ing. Part of the BB program is a special diet, and Jonah has to be on 1000 IU of Vitamin D3 for it. BUT WAIT, none of the vitamins of supplements your kids have to be on for this can contain any form of SWEETENER, so it’s hard to find one that is a) compliant, and b) the child will actually EAT.

Fit Formula Wellness is LITERALLY the perfect solution. I put it in Jonah’s applesauce, his chili at dinner, his dairy-free yogurt, etc and he eats it up and doesn’t  know it’s there. ALSO, as you may have caught in the sentence above, the diet he is on is also dairy-free, so he really needs that extra calcium. He has refused any other type of milk (almond, coconut, etc.) so he literally only drinks water – which is fine, but also rather devoid of calcium.

Long story long, eventually Fit Formula Wellness heard of my love for their product (through Haley, natch) and asked me to be an influencer for them. I was all, “Um, ok, but I don’t blog anymore.” And they were all “That’s cool, you post lots of other places on social media so we want you anyway!” And I was all, “AWW that’s so nice!”

And then I started blogging again a few week later, so I figured I’d write a bit to tell you all how much I love it, AND AND AND give you a coupon code! ‘Cause you KNOW I loves me a deal.

So, go grab a box of Calcium + D from Fit Formula Wellness for 50% off. Normally $14.99, get yours for HALF THAT here!!  You can get it for EVEN LESS if you subscribe monthly,  it’s just $12.99 and you get 50% off that too! And it will last you a month, and you will LOVE it. The coupon code is “jenny” – ALL lower case.

Oh and I should probably say, I guess this is a sponsored post. Even though I’ve already fulfilled my influencer requirements earlier in the program with Facebook and Instagram posts, just to be on the safe side, so the FCC doesn’t try to squeeze blood from this super dry stone. Opinions are of course, my own.

SO let’s RECAP:

  • I’m old an decrepit but I’m managing it naturally and it’s working
  • My friend  Haley told me about an awesome product so now I’m telling you
  • I love Calcium + D and you should get some
  • Use coupon code jenny for 50% off til May 10th
  • My 7-year-old son gulps it down and has no idea so it’s also upped my Mom Ninja Skillz

That is all for now my friends! Come back next week and I’ll tell you all about my AGE SPOTS! #SoOld #SoSoOld

 

 

 

 

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A Non-Comprehensive List of Things That Have Happened Since 2016

Sooo before last week, it had been a long-@ss time since Emily or I had blogged. I explained why in that post, SO GO READ IT. (Please.)

I’ll wait.

So anyhoo, here’s what you need to catch up on,

  • I went from part time to full time at my job, because I am an insane person and ignored the advice I gave Emily for years.
  • Joshua (mine) and Kate (Emily’s) both turned into TEENAGERS and they are both TALLER THAN I AM and it’s NOT OKAY. They’re both now 14. Also not ok.
  • Kate looks like a freaking model, SUPER NOT OKAY. Gah. At least have the decency to look like an awkward teenager.
  • Kate also loves makeup, hair, and mirrors, so she’s basically more like my kid than Emily’s and this THRILLS ME TO NO END (payback for all those eye rolls at me, cousin!!)
  • Joshua, at 14, no longer adores me like he did at 4. Very not okay.
  • Sammy (Emily’s) just turned 10. The only one remaining in single digits is Jonah (mine).
  • My left eyeball decided it wouldn’t tolerate contact lenses anymore so I got glasses. Which made Sophie (mine), who is now eleven, and I look alike, which is a development I AM on board with!
  • My nephew Drew won the world championships in Pyraminx again in PARIS freaking France, and broke the world record at the same time. It was pretty epic.
  • In other nephew news, my brother Andy & his wife did me a solid adopted a 2-year-old named Jayce, and I am in loooooove with him! #fanaunt
  • Jonah, despite my fervent prayers, continues to have some developmental issues, so we’ve had him at the Brain Balance Center since December 3 hours a week. He is doing SO AWESOME. He’ll be done in June. It’s the best money we’ve ever spent. I mean besides Christian school and speech therapy.
  • Also, Jonah is the MOST FUN KID EVER and I want to FREEZE TIME right now because he’s so fun!
  • I started selling MONAT hair care, because it’s amazeballs and you should totes buy some from me. I started using it because my freaking hairline was receding and that is MAJORLY NOT OK! Fortunately Monat fixed that and now it’s growing back in nicely! TO check it out you can join my FB group where I do lots of ridiculous hair and makeup product testing (anyone can join) or check out my MONAT website here. Or, comment and and ask me about it. I won’t get all salesy and weird on you.
  • I turned 40 and my friend and family brought me like 500 cans of Mountain Dew, which is totally cool, and Emily did NOT turn 40 which is SUPER LAME. She continues to fulfill her role as “whippersnapper” in my life.
  • Emily went to Europe without me, which is STUPID. In her defense she DID ask me to go with her, but she DIDN’T offer to pay for it, soooo…
  • Emily got promoted at her job to Vice President of Everything Awesome and she pretty much runs the place. Also, people are VERY afraid of her. And her office smells of mahogany and leather-bound books.
  • Also, Emily’s husband and I dressed the same accidentally on Halloween this year.  It’s not weird!
  • (Please note: Emily looks like she actually LIKES ME in this photo because she had wine for trick-or-treat. True story.)
  • Some other not-super-fun stuff happened to but we’ll save that for a serious post or two.
  • Both of our husbands keep continually agreeing to staying married to us, which is kind of great (but really who would want to leave THIS?)

And now you’re all caught up! Stick with us, we’re bringing sexy funny back, I swear!

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