Is it possible for a mom to enjoy her child’s birthday party?
Because I’m pretty sure the answer is no.
Jenny’s trials and tribulations with baking her kids’ cakes is well-documented, and whenever a child of one of my co-workers celebrates his or her first birthday, the rest of us immediately ask “So at what point did you start crying?” because it’s a sure thing that Mom was in tears before the cake was cut. And I’m not talking the “my baby is growing up” kind of tears… more along the lines of “this whole thing sucks” kind of tears.
Kate’s fourth birthday party was Saturday. It was a very low-key ordeal – cupcakes, ice cream and a pinata at the town playground. Yet I was still so stressed about it. Imagine if my kid was named Suri! Well, then I would have a whole host of problems in addition to a $100k first birthday party, but I digress. Anyway, I was stressing out about not having made a ton of food, not having enough decorations (despite having spent $60 at the party store – how does that happen??), everything not looking cute, making sure everyone had people to talk to, worrying that the pace of the party was too slow… you name it, I was stressing about it.
That night, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. And each and every time I was up in the middle of the night nursing Sammy (and believe me, that is a lot), I was rehashing the party in my mind and finding more things to worry about!! I just had to wonder, is it even possible to enjoy your kids’ parties? I mean, obviously the main numero uno priority is that the kid enjoys the party, but must it be a stress-fest for mom?
In my experience, yes. Stress is a requirement. But someone out there must be able to prove me wrong… or right, as the case may be.
So let’s hear it – either your birthday party horror stories or your tried-and-true ways to make the party fun for everyone (yeah right, I will believe that when I see it).
Along with all the release forms you sign upon leaving the hospital with your newborn, there should also be a consent form for the nightmare that is a first birthday party…this is a given! However, after taking my mom’s advice for year #2, inviting way less people, and only one little friend for ethan, it was much more enjoyable. I’m totally with you on the this-party-just-has-to-be-perfect thing because i will fully admit i’m anal retentive about social functions!
I heard that a good rule of thumb is however old the child is turning, invite that number of friends. For instance, if the child is turning 3, invite 3 friends.
We did not stick by this last August when our girls turned 7 and 4. We had close to 40 kids, plus family and parents of the kids at our church’s indoor play area. It was a flat rate to rent the space – not a typical price per person. We thought what the heck… might as well invite everyone they know since it’s the same price. BIG MISTAKE. Thank God parents stayed around because I so needed the helping hands. I was in WAY over my head.
This year we are going to do a simple family party… and probably not going to have a big birthday party until I recover from the one this past August… which is going to be a LONG time from now.
To answer the question – No, it’s not possible unless you assign friends to help with pictures, cutting cake, etc – then it’s possible to have two minutes of conversation..maybe.
We did do a party at our house one time and rented one of those ginormous inflatables – by the time I totaled everything up – I spent more doing the party myself than paying someone else to entertain the kids…AND I had to clean up the MESS!!!
When they get older, they want parties at places (Lazer Kraze, Pump-It-Up). While I am sooo stinkin’ tight normally, I let them get those places for the parties because I don’t want to “deal” with all the stuff that goes along with the party – and cleaning it up!
I think the key is to keep it low key as possible…..invite as few people as you can get away with….let the local pizzeria do the cooking….make cupcakes and have ice cream. Kids are resiliant creatures and not only are they not going to remember most of these birthday parties (except for what you manage to capture in photos) but they are not stressing, so why should you 🙂
We keep things way, way low key around here. I try to think “playdate” and that is the theme for the day. The one time I tried to do a big-ish party, it turned into a playdate anyway, so all was well.
Don’t stress, just try to enjoy it.
Yikes, even when we had it at a miniture golf place, with only two other families showing up I was stressing….why didn’t anyone else come, is she having fun, when should we open presents, who is going to watch the kids when they golf….. and a zillion other things to stress about. My daughter is wanting a Hawiian Luau this year. We shall see.
We usually have a big family dinner and have cake and ice cream and then I do a small party for the kids somewhere i don’t have to stress abou the details. I’m not good at party planning.
My son’s birthday is in the middle of winter so there is usually a TON of snot involved. Other than that I keep them pretty low key, because me + crowd + balloons = fainting and frothing at the mouth.
The weather was my big stressor at B’s first birthday. Of course we got snow dumped on us that day and the 40 – 50 guests we were expecting (and had purchased food for) quickly dwindled. Gratefully, 23 of our devoted friends and family came out and joined the party. We would have re-scheduled, but there was really no good time to do that with the close proximity to Christmas.
I have LOVED my kids birthdays, and let me tell you how I did that. I didn’t do PARTIES!!!!! We had family over for cake and presents, and that was that. Now that my daughter is a teen, she’s been inviting friends to sleep over for a few years now. And we usually take her some place she’s been wanting to go…like a museum or something…for her birthday. But that’s it. No big affair, no bunches of kids…no trips to the party store. And I kept my sanity and am able to look back at the birthdays with fondness instead of stress. I don’t know how kid’s birthdays have morphed into these dramatic, themed affairs over the years. I don’t remember them being like this when I was growing up…..
I have been there sister! This is still a relatively new frontier for me, so I don’t have a ton of advice yet 😉
Here’s one thing that has helped me with the last two birthday parties: give someone(s) you really trust the picture-taking responsibility. It is so freeing not to have to worry about taking the pictures at just the right moment, while lighting birthday candles with the other hand!
Last year my daughter was invited to a park birthday where the only decorations were plastic tablecloths and balloons. The food was Chick-Fil-A nuggets, grapes, and rolls. It was awesome! The kids had a really great time, and the parents actually got to enjoy the party without running around like crazy people. I was thinking the whole time “This is amazing…why didn’t I think of this?”. We might be doing something similar this year…..that is if I can keep my “everything has to be perfectly decorated, coordinated, and well-orchestrated” self from getting in the way.
Really though, when the kiddos have fun, that’s all that really matters and (thankfully) all they remember!
Hey, sorry we missed it!
The first “kids” birthday party we had was when #1 turned 5; we usually just go the close fam and friends route.
And lots of food.
And a cooler of beer for the grownfolk.
🙂
Do what you do for your kids’ birthday that works for you, and forget all that “perfect party” stuff. If they’re under 5, they’re not even going to really remember the party anyways!
Smiles!
Thought I’d post real quick and tell Emily that the answer to her question is “no”! I just had my daughter’s first birthday on Sunday. I tried to keep it just family (which I did) but I was still so exhausted and DONE by the time everyone left that I decided I won’t be doing that again. We’ll go to a pizza place and bring a cake and be done with it!