This Just In: I’m Still 12

As I posted Friday, I had to take Joshua to the pediatrician because of a mysterious stomach ailment.  The pediatrician asked about a million questions and then said he needed more information, so he asked me to keep a poop and food diary on Joshua for two weeks.

That’s right, for the next two weeks, I have to look at Joshua’s poop and write down my observations about it’s size, color, consistency, etc.

I love being a mom.  Really, this is the stuff I’ve always dreamed about.

But back to the asking a million questions part.  The doctor asked Joshua many, many questions that ended in the word, “poop”.

Does it hurt when you poop?

When you’re eating, do you feel like you have to poop?

Is there any blood on the toilet paper when you poop?


Seriously, after the first question, it was all I could do to not burst out in an ugly, raspberry-esque hysterical laughter.  I had to bite the inside of my mouth and stare down at the top of my son’s head to keep from losing control.

Because there’s something about a learn-ed M.D. saying the word “poop” over and over that brings me to the basest level of immaturity possible.

I couldn’t breathe for a full 30 seconds after he’d said his last “poop” for fear of losing it.  And, since I’ve made a fool of myself in front of this doctor over bowel movements before, I really did not want to lose control.

But I was thisclose.

So, I think my much more solemn and mature husband should attend the follow-up appointment, don’t you?  Because since it is going to involve careful examination of aforementioned poop diary, I don’t think I can be trusted to hold it together.

What makes you giggle like a pre-adolescent boy?

(P.S. – POOP!!!! Made ya laugh!)

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7 Replies to “This Just In: I’m Still 12”

  1. Three words for you dear, Ther A Py! For you, not the kid!

    And, Mrs. Duggar says that until you’ve changed the diapers of 20 children, you really can’t talk poop!


  2. Probably would have died laughing! Most of my mommy stories involve poop…I can’t help it, they just seem to be the first ones I can remember. From kids to cat, disgusting, embarrassing, frustrating, expensive…and everything in between! Thankfully I can laugh at most of them now!

  3. Okay,Charlie, I can’t disappoint you. I will just say that the reason my children are so well-adjusted(well, maybe not Jenny LOL…only kidding) is that I always sang a happy song to them while changing their poopy diapers. No..”Yuk,” “Disgusting” or “Gross” proceeding out of my mouth. So that is all I have to say about POOP!

  4. Gotta love the poop stories! Hearing a learn-ed medical person say “vagina” usually has me biting my cheek to keep from laughing. So mature. 🙂

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