Playing “Peek-a-Boob” at the Poshest Spot in Town

I’m doing a lot of things differently with my second child than I did with my first. One of those things is breastfeeding in public. I have pretty much decided that I am DONE nursing a baby while balancing on a restaurant toilet seat. So I have bravely nursed Sophia in a variety of public places, being careful not to show my goods to the world. However, now that she is a tall, chubby, and very grabby seven-month-old, nursing in public has become far more complicated.

Today I had to nurse Sophia at a very public, very posh spot. A spot I probably am not even classy enough to frequent, but hey, I can dream.

This particular location was outside the Panera Bread at an upscale outdoor mall here in our area. I can’t afford to shop in most of the stores and their target demographic probably thinks I’m “quaint,” but I like it there because it’s a beautiful space and perfect for a stroll with the kids. They also have a fabulous, ginormous bookstore with a train table that Joshua loves. But I digress.

Yesterday I met a friend and her son there so the boys could play and we could catch up. We stopped at the Panera on the way out to bribe Joshua with a cookie so my friend and I could get in some more “mom talk.” I was trying to hold Sophia off, but she was tired and hungry and I had to give in and nurse her – right there on a metal patio chair at the outdoor seating at Panera, which just happens to be at the very front of this mall. I was sitting about ten feet from the edge of the parking lot, and about three feet from the road everyone drives in on when they’re circling for a space. AND I brought the WORST blanket one can use for nursing – it’s all satin on one side and therefore very slippery and hard to keep on myself even when Baby So’s not pulling at it. Add to this that she was super fussy and kicking and crying, and we have a possible peek-a-boob situation. If my friend hadn’t been there, I might’ve been in big trouble! Sophie was so upset that my friend had to help me get situated so I wouldn’t flash all the Beemers & Mercedes that were slowly cruising by in search of that one elite parking spot that would show us riff-raff who was boss. She also had to hold the blanket on for me a couple of different times when it got slippy-slidey.

The point is, it took me and a friend (a very close friend, obviously) to protect the innocent eyes of mall patrons and get my daughter fed. But, we did it! And I didn’t even have to sequester myself on the Panera potty. Yes! Score one for Mommy!

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Numero Uno

For the past couple of weeks, my three-year-old, Joshua, has been practicing making the numbers two and three with his fingers. So when you ask him how old he is, he proudly displays three fingers. This morning, we were in the bathroom and I was brushing my hair (after my shower, which I did not get until almost noon, thank you very much) with my back to Joshua. He said, “Hey Mommy, look!” I turned around to see my beautiful son giving me the bird, his middle finger raised proudly in the air. “I made a one!” he announced with glee.

What could I do? He was so proud of himself! I just grinned really big and said, “Good job buddy!” Now if he does it in public, then we’ll have to talk!

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Rewind…. 12/22/04. Ow, nose!

Date: 12/22/04
Time: 9:56 a.m.
To: Jenny
From: Emily
Subj: Ow, nose!

You are never going to believe what happened last night. I am going to try to give you the abbreviated version of the story, but bear with me.

Kate and I took my grandma over to Target last night and we got Kate some dried blueberries. On the way home, she was eating them, and I heard her say indignantly “Ow nose!” as though her nose had hurt her, so I asked her if she picked it too hard and she said yes.

So we get back to Grandma’s and I notice that her snot is bluish. She had Oreos on her face, and I thought it was just mixing in with that… but it kept happening, so sort of jokingly I said “Kate, did you stick an Oreo up your nose?” and Grandma said “I bet it was a blueberry.”

To make a long story somewhat shorter, Andy and I were getting ready to get the tweezers, but Grandma said she didn’t think that was a good idea and maybe we should call this 24/7 nurse line her insurance has. So I called (GREAT invention btw, I’m going to put Anthem’s nurse line on the fridge) and the nurse said NOT to use the tweezers, because of her eyes and brain being so close to her nose. She said to take Kate to Urgent Care because the blueberry needed to come out in 2-8 hours. I don’t know what happens after that time period expires – perhaps the blueberry would start to sprout.

We decided to go home and call Kate’s doctor to see if we should take her that night, or if we could wait until his office opened up. He said it needed to come out lest she suck it into her lungs. A blueberry in the lungs is apparently worse than a blueberry in the nose. So we were putting her in her jammies around 9:30, getting ready to go to Urgent Care, and she sneezed. I glanced down and said “Andy, there’s a blueberry on my pants!!” She had sneezed it out.

The crazy thing is that even though it was a tiny dried blueberry when she stuck it up there, all the snot and everything made it expand back to the size of a regular blueberry.

Andy and I were sooooo glad she sneezed it out! I was really not looking forward to the idea of a straight jacket.

So the moral of the story is:
A) Check to see if your insurance has a nurse line because it’s awesome, and
B) Don’t use tweezers when Joshua pulls this stunt.

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