Down on the Farm

Dear People Who Drive Down the Same Roads I Do,

Oh hi. Remember me? Probably not, but I’m the driver of one of the many cars you zoomed by in the last week or so. I imagine you didn’t see me, though, because you were in such a hurry. In fact, from the way you were driving, I must assume that you were either bleeding, in labor, or practicing for a local drag race.

I’m sure wherever you’re going is super duper important – you don’t want to be late for work, or maybe you don’t want to miss the first three minutes of The Bachelor.

But here’s the thing.

We live in rural Ohio. In case you haven’t noticed, the roads we travel down every day look pretty much like this.

Soybean Field - Mace Farm, Parke County Indiana /Illinois

And it is spring. Otherwise known as the time farmers plant shit. So it stands to reason that every once in a while we’re going to be caught behind one of these.

Heavy Equipment

See that orange triangle on the back? Unless I’m remembering the study guide from my driver’s ed class incorrectly, that indicates a slow moving vehicle.

In other words, it means “Calm your ass down.”

Now, I’m no more of a fan of driving 30 miles per hour than you are. But I am, however, a fan of being alive. And I’m a fan of my kids being alive and even you being alive. I would prefer we all remain that way. So please, please stop passing me, the nice farmers, and the other drivers who have some sense when it’s not safe to do so. By “not safe,” I mean when there’s a double yellow, a curvy road, an upcoming hill… that kind of thing.

And for the love of all that is holy, please stop passing 14 cars and the offending farm equipment all at once.

Thank you.

XOXO,
Emily

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9 Replies to “Down on the Farm”

  1. Well said! As a farmer’s daughter, I will also mention that tractors use flashing lights to caution a slow moving vehicle. When a tractor is getting ready to turn, (if the farmer uses their turn signal) one light stops blinking and stays on…So if you see one flashing and one that is staying on…it means the tractor is turning

  2. I laughed when I moved to Pittsburgh from rural Ohio (the other side of Ohio but still quite rural). I was used to being late to work due to traffic jams – but those jams were caused by slow moving tractors rather than rubberneckers on the parkway north. I also lived near a large amish community and people would drive really unsafely around the buggies. Always scared me.

  3. Charlie and I were out and about yesterday and we commented on never seeing so many bad drivers in one day!

  4. As we have a huge yam processing plant near my office, I have gotten used to being stuck behind an old school bus with the top cut off filled with yams! It may be different down here, there is an expectation that everyone will be late for one reason or another, so people aren’t so crazy!

  5. I know this won’t make you feel any better but we have the same kind of crazy drivers in rural Alabama too!

  6. Come South dear, Atlanta, Six interstates, 4.5 million cars, in the metro area. In my COUNTY alone there are 605,000 registered motor-vehicles, 121 School zones, and an estimated 40,000 unlicensed drivers.

    I’ll drive.

    UP

  7. I in a rural area as well in MN and what makes me the maddest is that I live on a gravel road that people fly down at like 60 miles an hour. I worry that a rock will fly up and hit one of my kids or horses or something. I aske the township to put a children at play sign up and the guy told me there was no point because people dont read signs anyway so according to that I guess we should just remove stop signs and speed limit signs and everything. CRAZY!

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