Can someone please tell me how pregnant I am?

Ok I know this pregnancy stuff, well, doesn’t follow the regular laws of mathematics… whoever invented it must have been a man trying to trick the rest of womankind into believing that it only lasts nine months. But why do I get a deer-in-my-headlights (haha, that one was for you, Aunt Diane) look whenever someone asks me how far along I am??

And it’s NOT just that sometimes I can’t remember how many weeks (although I will admit that I have to check WebMD every once in a while to verify)… it’s that I’m past the point of the weekly count making any sense to anyone, and people want their answer in the largest common denominator, months.

I am currently 28 weeks pregnant. Let me break out the calculator here… 28 divided by 4 is 7. So I’m 7 months pregnant, right?

BUT, 9-7=2… which would indicate that I only have 2 months left to go. Unfortunately, this is not the case! Two months from now is March 21, which is still a solid three weeks before my due date!!

So let’s work backwards. If pregnancy lasts 40 weeks, I am still looking at another 12 weeks of gestating. Twelve weeks equals 3 months, right? So am I only 6 months? That would be SO DEPRESSING. And I can’t be six months, because I’m 28 weeks!!

So what do you think? Am I six months pregnant? Seven months? Because I have NO IDEA.

P.S. If anyone comments with an answer that’s not at least six months, I cannot be held liable for my actions!

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Seriously, Kid, I’m Not ALL that Great!

Somebody pass the Hershey bars, for I am in need of some medicinal chocolate for my NERVES. Sophia Diane has decided that this month should mark the beginning of her “separation anxiety” phase. Now she’s always been a “Mommy’s girl” and freaked out on different babysitters a couple of times when she was really little (like when she was 4 months old and Bobby and I tried to go to the symphony for our 7th anniversay and made it through a whole 20 minutes!), but she’s been over that for awhile now.

Until a couple of weeks ago. Now she’s back in full-on “I-must-have-Mommy” mode. She’s flipped out in the church nursery the past two times and they’ve flashed her identification number up on the screen before even the second worship song was complete. Saturday night we went out with some friends (we do this every three weeks) and she cried the WHOLE two-and-a-half hours we were gone. Lucy, one of our trusted babysitters, even gave her a bath (Sophie LOVES the bath) to try and cheer her up and it only worked for about two minutes before she was back to crying. When we got home I nursed her and she sat up after she was finished and chattered and chirped like she was hot stuff. She was happy as a clam, as if the previous hours of wailing and gnashing of gums had never happened.

Friday she fussed at my mom – her beloved Grandma – the whole time when I went shopping for a couple of hours.

Today she wailed like the chief mourner when I put my coat on to go to Bible Study.

Ugh. She cannot do this to me! I have to be able to go out sometimes without torturing babysitters or grandparents!

Seriously, Soph, I am not all that and a bag of chips Gerber puffs. Please crazy girl, give some other folks a chance!

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PLEASE VOTE FOR MY LIMERICK!

Hey all! I am a finalist in Rocks in my Dryer’s limerick contest!! But I am NOT WINNING as of this moment. Please click HERE to vote for me! My poem is the third one down, (it says “By Jenni” -my name is spelled wrong but who cares??) And it’s about COUPONS so please please please vote or me so I can win the sweet MP3 player she is giving away for my hubby!! This way I dont have to buy him a Valentine’s day present. 🙂

Ok..go VOTE HERE! You can vote all weekend!And THANK YOU!!

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