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Emily Is Getting Old

But sadly, she will NEVER be as old as me. Nevertheless, I will try not to be bitter when I say, Happy 29th Birthday Emily!! Here’s a picture my mom dug up for me of Emily the day her parents brought her home from the hospital:

Aww, wasn’t she cute? Ok, you can’t tell too much cause it’s a REALLY OLD picture, but I am sure she was adorable. Well, Em, as you know, this is your last year of your twenties. And as a wise old one who’s gone before, I’d like to give you some advice on how to spend this last year of your youth. So here are five things I think you should do before thirty! Because except for that wild night you had with that English Bulldog, I don’t think you’ve had enough fun in your life! It’s time to quit being responsible and start getting crazy!

1) Take pole-dancing lessons. You weren’t nearly slutty enough as a young woman, so I think you should fork out a bunch of dough to have a Cougar teach you how to be!! It’s never too late to get in touch with your inner hoochie!

2) Go skydiving! Because who doesn’t want to be so scared that they pee all over themselves at 15,000 feet?

3) Take the mad skillz you got from # 1 and rock MTV’s Spring Break! Do it or you’ll regret never sleeping on the floor of a vomit-soaked hotel room with 20 other people for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!

4) Try out for American Idol. You are selling yourself, the music industry, and ALL of America short!! My fan poster will read “I HEART EM-IDOL-Y”

5) Sell your car and buy a Harley. You would look super-HAWT all clad in leather. Just don’t forget the chaps and the giant helmet! You haven’t LIVED until you’ve nearly killed yourself and every motorist nearby just showing off how loud your HOG is!

Well, there’s your to-do list, cousin. I’ll give you your birthday to relax and then I expect you to hop to it!! Times a -wastin’!! Only 365 more days until you hit the big 3-0!!

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WFMW: Making my own cleaning products

Today’s WFMW post is brought to you by my sister Anna. She is pretty cool.
— Emily

I was spraying my bathroom sink with my favorite cleaning product a few weeks ago, when the warning label caught my eye. “Hazard to humans and domestic animals. Get immediate medical attention if swallowed. Beware, danger, poison…” And as I watched the bubbles ooze down the sink and into our water supply, the thought occurred to me that perhaps there was a better way to make my sink shine.

I went to the library and checked out “Clean and Green” by Annie Berthold-Bond. When I brought it home, I couldn’t wait to try it out. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I already had may of the needed ingredients, most of them in my kitchen cabinet. “Clean and Green” tells me how to clean all kinds of things – everything from rugs and carpets to bathrooms to cars – and all the recipes are non-toxic.

The first one I tried out was a glass cleaner. I chose this because it was easy to make and because I had the necessary ingredients on hand. It worked great.

Next, after picking up washing soda and borax at the store, I tried out a recipe for a tub and shower cleaner. For me, this was the real test for how well these recipes worked. I hate cleaning the bath tub and shower. I’m using the word “hate” here. But what I hate even more than cleaning the tub/shower is cleaning it with a product that doesn’t work. On many occasions, I’ve scrubbed and scrubbed, only to discover that spots remained on the shower walls. The “Clean and Green” solution worked well, as least as well as the cleaning products I had been using, maybe even better. And the apartment didn’t smell like chlorine for the rest of the day. The “Clean and Green” solution didn’t leave the faucets and fixtures as shiny as I would have liked, but the book does have some recipes specifically for them that I will try out next time. I’m also eager to try out the recipe for cleaning the oven.

I’ve found making my own cleaning supplies to be strangly motivating. It’s like doing a science experiment. I make no promises on how long this will last, but for now I’m much more excited to clean if I get to test out some new concoction.

I haven’t really researched it, but it seems to me that putting poisonous chemicals down the drain isn’t the greatest idea. I don’t know for sure if using brand-name cleaning supplies is harming the environment or not.

But here’s what I do know:
—When I use the tub and shower cleaner from “Clean and Green,” I can stand barefoot in the shower while cleaning, without fearing that the cleaning product is going to cause the skin on my feet to melt off.
—It’s cheap to make. Many of the ingredients you probably already have, and those that you need to buy last a long time, as the recipes usually only call for a tablespoon of this and a teaspoon of that.
—They work. (At least the ones I’ve tried). I’ve been very satisfied with the results of the solutions I’ve made.

Cleaning supplies that work, are cheap to make, and that won’t harm me, my family or the world… that works for me.

For more Works for Me Wednesday tips, check out Rocks in My Dryer. Thanks, Anna!

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It’s Not a Party Until Somebody Pukes…

…and that somebody is nearly always my son Joshua, he of the overactive gag reflex. Joshua has puked many, many places, including my car, the mall playplace, a playdate, and my babysitter’s 18th birthday party. Yesterday, he added my brother’s house to the list as he brought the fun to our family’s Memorial Day party. But this time, it was my fault! You see, I decided to let him be a big kid and drink pop like his cousins. So, I gave him a big plastic cup half-full with a mixture of Big Red and Sierra Mist. Joshua rarely ever gets to drink pop (even though I drink it like it’s my JOB – bad Mommy!). Soooo rarely, in fact, that I’d forgotten that the last time I let him be a big kid and drink pop, he threw up. Whoops!

So. A few minutes into lunch, when he came and laid on the couch and said his stomach hurt, I went on high alert. “Sit up, Buddy,” I commanded, “You cannot throw up on Aunt Sarah’s nice couch!”

“I do have to choke,” he said solemnly. (He calls throwing up “choking”.) I grabbed him and ran at super-human speed for the bathroom, where Joshua proceeded to hurl his entire lunch and plastic cup full of Big Red & Sierra Mist into my brother’s toilet. After he was done, he looked up at me, overwhlemed and teary-eyed, but relieved. Poor baby!

Then, suddenly, he made and ungodly sound and puked all over my right foot. Missed the toilet by a mile. And of course I was wearing my Trello sandals. So, open-toed shoes with square holes all over them = a very pukey foot – one that will serve as a nasty reminder next time I think about letting him drink pop!!

Oh, Joshupants, thanks for making our family get-together a real party! Since it was clear at that point that your uncles weren’t going to take their shirts off and shoot at each other in the front yard, we definitely needed some excitement!

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