Mommin' It Up!

January 22, 2009January 22, 2009

Bloggin’ Buddies

Usually, when I’m talking to someone in real life and start a sentence with “So, I have this blog…” I get a blank stare in return.

Apparently there are still people out there who don’t read and/or write blogs on a daily basis. Who knew?

So anyway, a couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to have dinner with several awesome women who totally speak my language – about kids, husbands, and also blogs.

They are, front to back, left to right:
Carrie from Money Saving Methods
Yours truly
Marianne from Writer Mommy
Carrie from Carrie’s Cooking
Andrea from Mommy Snacks
Erin from $5 Dinners

It was SO MUCH FUN! We talked for three quick hours about everything under the sun – blogging-related and not – and I think we could have easily sat there for three more hours! They are awesome, smart women, and I highly recommend checking out each of their blogs – they know what they’re talking about!

Thanks, ladies, for such a great evening, and I look forward to doing it again!

January 21, 2009

The Great Underthong Mystery of ’09

Last night I received an email from my brother, who has two boys, ages nine and eleven. The email was to me and to my other brother, who has four kids of his own. It read:

We partially cleaned the boys’ room tonight. I found the pictured item under their bed. Neither of them will confess to making a custom-made boys size 16 Fruit of the Loom thong. I wondered if one of your kids wanted to confess.

It was accompanied by the following pictures:

After Bobby and I laughed so hard that Joshua came into the room concerned for our well-being, I picked up the phone to talk to my brother and help him solve this mystery. His kids love Star Wars, so to protect their identities, we’ll call them Luke Skywalker (age 9) and Han Solo (age 11).

Me: Dude, what is THAT about?
Bro: I have no idea.
Me: Anyone confessed yet?
Bro: They both swear up and down they didn’t do it. But it HAD to be Luke Skywalker.

After cracking up a bit more, we hung up. Then later in evening, I got this email:

Luke Skywalker confessed. He said he was playing a joke on Han Solo. He thought, “It would be funny.” (He was right!) Han Solo said he threw them under the bed because he thought Luke Skywalker might get in trouble.

Here’s my question: Did Luke Skywalker just think Han Solo wasn’t going to notice that his Fruit of the Looms now consisted of only three thin straps of scrappy fabric and just put them on? ‘Cause dude, eleven-year-old boys can be clueless, but I don’t think those not-so-tighty-whiteys can get by anyone!

Oh and by the way, the email also said that as soon as Luke Skywalker confessed, he asked, “Do you think this will be on Aunt Jenny’s blog?”

Does Yoda have hairy ears, kid??

January 20, 2009January 20, 2009

Dirty Ducks and Foul-Mouthed Fish

My four-year-old son is really into knock-knock jokes, and consequently, so is my two-year-old daughter. She has no idea what she’s saying or what they mean, but she thinks she’s hysterical. So the other night, while I was out running errands, my husband gave the kids fish sticks for dinner and decided to turn the fish sticks into a knock-knock joke.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fish!
Fish who?
Fish for dinner! Eat your fish sticks!

Hilarious, right? Well, my little Sophie thought it was hilarious, and kept telling it over and over, in her typical loud exuberance. Only when she tells, it, it sounds like this:

Knock, knock.
(who’s there?)
B*TCH!
(fish who?)
ha ha ha ha B*TCH! ha ha ha ha!

Yeah. As hard as we tried to get her to pronounce the “f” and the “sh” sounds, it just keeps coming out “B*TCH!” Sadly, there are few things cuter than a cutie-pie of a two-year-old screaming “B*TCH” and laughing about it. Once again, Bobby and I were in hysterics. We even got it on video. Yes, we are awesome parents! Of course Sophie felt the need to tell her new joke over and over at our house church Sunday night, so Bobby and I had some ‘splaining to do. Soph really raised some eyebrows!

Sophie’s new favorite epithet reminds me of the time Emily and I took Kate and Joshua to the Indy Children’s museum. The whole place is awesome, but as they were 21 and 23 months old at the time, respectively, we spent most of our time in the really amazing toddler area they have there. The kids especially liked the water play area with lots of boats and rubber ducks.

Kate, being the bright, verbal toddler that she was, liked picking the ducks up and saying “QUACK QUACK QUACK!”

Only it didn’t sound like “quack”. It sounded like what quack would sound like if you took out the “a” and put an “f” where the “q” is.

That’s right, Kate was cussing out the ducks! A panicked Emily kept saying, “Kate, can you say QUACK!?” To which Kate would reply, “F***, F***, F***!”

IT. WAS. AWESOME.

Because, as sad as this is, there are few things cuter than a cutie-pie-of-a-21-month old cussing out some rubber duckies.

And it also makes one very popular with the other parents in the water play area!