Mommin' It Up since 2004!
Want to have an insane weekend? Here’s what you do!
Take a seven-hour car ride with two kids. Add in a mom who is PMS’y and hormonal and irritable and has the period from he!!. Mix together in a small hotel room. Let cook for 72 hours… and voila! You have a freaking mess on your hands.
Or at least I do.
Happy 4th, everyone!
Last week I introduced you to my hilarious Uncle Paul, after discovering that his witty comments on this here blog were getting some attention from the readers. To further demonstrate his grand sense of humor, let me fill you in on what he did last week for his 60th birthday. He went to the Lynyrd Skynyrd and Kid Rock show in Atlanta. By himself!
Of course Uncle Paul being Uncle Paul, he did not leave the show empty-handed. He came home with a camera full of pictures and a mouth full of witty observations about the crowd’s, um, behavior. UP has a whole facebook album full of pics from the show, but this is about the only one I felt I could show you. Check out these two klassy ladies from the great state of Tennessee (Alli, Jennifer, Jamie, do you know these gals?) dressed for the show:
Ok, not that bikini girl doesn’t have a better body than me, but remind me not to ever wear an outfit that puts my back fat rolls on display, mmkay?
ANYHOO – here are Uncle Paul’s comments on the show:
Ticket a gift, Parking $20, T shirt, $35.00, Water $4.00, Sprite $4.00, Soft Pretzel $5.00 – the experience – PRICELESS!
Crimes of fashion everywhere. From the start I felt overdressed, under tattooed and under pierced. It was butt crack halter top, ball cap, pierced navel, butt crack, ball cap, tube top as far as the eye could see.
I also now support the 18th amendment more than every before and suggest we reinstate it! So many drunks, so little time.
Ok, this is Jenny again. Here’s my favorite part and the whole point of this post. (Besides the point that my Uncle Paul is hilarious.) Apparently there were PARENTS (plural!) who thought it would be a good idea to take their little kids to a Lynyrd Skynyrd/Kid Rock show for some summer fun. Whaaa?? Did they stop at the strip club on the way home?? From Uncle Paul’s observations:
And the T shirts! I tried to get a picture of the 9 year old kid holding his mother’s beer while she was lighting her cigarette in front of the No Smoking sign, But I couldn’t sneak one. Oh yes, he was wearing a T-shirt that said “Kid Ma F#$%^%$ Rock! Yeah, I’d love to be in on that school conference.
Oh, and the father of three sitting next me who lit up a joint, and was surprised when the security guard told him he was sitting in the No Smoking section!!
The concert was great!
So remember parents, if you are an adult like Uncle Paul, feel free to wear your bikini and jeans shirts to a fun summer concert, but don’t take your kids, let them wear clothing with profanities, or make them hold your drinks.
And for heaven’s sake! Smoke your joints in private!
Happy summer everyone!
Joshua frequently climbs into bed with us at night, but most nights he times it well, and I am still too out of it (thanks to my new BFF Ambien) to do anything about it. Bobby is a hard sleeper and many times doesn’t even wake up for the blessed event at all. In the morning, he has consequences – no Hot Wheels, no computer, no racing games with Daddy – whichever seems most important to him at the time.
And while I’ll admit that I would prefer Joshua stay in his own bed all night (I mean really, we have a full-size bed, and what happens is that Bobby and I either both get about 4 inches of it each to sleep on and/or we wake up with a foot in our face), I will be sad when he doesn’t want to do it anymore. When he is too big to want the comfort of falling asleep with his head on his mama’s back, I will feel a loss.
Which is why last night, when Joshua came in our room at 10:37, and I was still wide awake, and Bobby had just gone downstairs to do a few chores before bed, I just patted the space next to me and bid him come. And as he wallowed all over me until he finally got comfortable with his arm flung possessively over my shoulders and his head buried in my back, I thought, Oh, how I want him to love me like this forever!
I listened to his breathing as he relaxed and fell asleep, his warm little body practically fused with mine, and I savored every second until I too slept.
And when I woke up at four a.m. perilously perched on four inches of the bed with a foot in my face, I felt remarkably more cheerful about it than I usually do when I shoved him over to reclaim some space.
And I thought, I sure am a lucky mama.