The Hard Stories

This weekend, for the second year in a row, I attended the Hearts at Home conference in Grand Rapids, MI. I loved it last year and was super-excited to go again this year and get encouraged. Hearts at Home exists to encourage moms, specifically stay-at-homers, but I want to emphasize that I felt both times I attended the conference that there was nothing I heard that couldn’t be applied to work-outside-the-home moms, single moms, ALL moms! It was once again, amazing. I loved it even more this year than last year. Although, it should be noted, that miraculously, I cried a lot less than I did last year. 🙂

Throughout the next few weeks I will probably be sharing some more of what I learned from the great speakers I heard – especially Dr. Kevin Leman, author of the Birth Order Book, and my new FAVORITE book ever, Have a New Kid by Friday.

But what I want to share first (and quickly) are a couple of phrases spoken in a keynote given by the founder of Hearts at Home, Jill Savage. These words really stuck with me. She said that we are moms need to share our HARD stories with each other. That everyone loves to hear the cute, funny, stories about how your kid can turn his ear inside out, but what’s important to share are the experiences where you screw up as a mom, or get depressed, or have a giant housekeeping FAIL. Because everyone has these experiences, but we can’t learn from them if we’re too scared to talk about them, too concerned with keeping up appearances, with meeting a certain standard, that we keep it all stuffed inside.

Another thing she said that rings sooo true, is that we will never learn from each other as moms if we can’t stop judging each other. I know it’s hard. I have struggled with it in the past. But I believe there is no winner in the Mommy Wars. Let’s just encourage each other to be the BEST moms we can be, in the way that we feel is right for our families.

Lastly, something I took away with me last year, that was reiterated again this year, is that I am not alone in motherhood and I was not meant to take this journey alone. And I am not talking about having a husband or not, I am talking about walking with God. God gave me these children, and he will partner with me in raising them! And even if there is a “hard story” that I can’t bear to share with anyone else, he knows it. And if I let him, he will get in the down & dirty middle of it with me.

So let’s get real! Call up a friend, tell her your “hard story”. Tell it here in the comments. But TELL it. Let’s learn from each other!

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JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes

Hi everyone! I just wanted to send a quick note to let you know that my family and I will be participating in the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes tomorrow. My husband, Andy, has had type 1 diabetes for nearly 20 years, and we anxiously wait for a cure!

Thanks to the support of Johnson & Johnson, a bunch of very generous companies, and our very good bloggy friends, I’ve almost reached my fundraising goal. If you’re in Dayton and would like to join our team, or you’re interested in supporting our efforts, please click here. To learn more about the great work the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation is doing, please click here.

Thanks so much. Happy Friday!

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Time Warp

Tonight was Kate’s very first elementary school skating party. It was held at the skating rink in our town, where I spent many a Friday night in middle school, and on our way there, I was a little excited. Ok, a lot excited. I am such a dork.

When we walked in, I seriously thought I stepped into 1991 – the skating rink was exactly like it had been when I was a kid, right down to the hand-written signs that say “Positively no smoking!” (Come to think of it, it was probably exactly like it had been when my parents were kids as well.) It brought back so many memories, from my mom and her best friend teaching us kids how to skate (Jenny, I seem to remember a failed attempt to teach you to skate as well…), to waiting anxiously to be picked during the “snowball” skates.

It was awesome.

However, Kate had never been on rollerskates before, and since I hadn’t been on them in approximately 18 years (like riding a bike, I tell ya), things were a little shaky at first. As in, Kate couldn’t stand up, and it was so hard to hold her up while I was on skates. (Yes, I know I shouldn’t have put skates on. But I wanted in on the fun too! It only took me an hour to put my shoes back on.) We wobbled our way out onto the rink, and she “skated” along the side, holding onto the railing.

kate skating 1
(Someday I am going to get a big kid camera and stop taking pictures on my cell phone, I promise.)

We eventually made our way out into the middle of the rink, where the beginners are supposed to be. Unfortunately, that happened to be precisely the time that the Hokey Pokey started. We were so not ready to put our left foot in and our left foot out. I was pretty sure I was going to give her that nursemaids’ shoulder that babies get when their moms pull their arms out of the socket. Not too long into our adventure, I tweeted “Why didn’t I think to google ‘how to teach a kid to skate’ this afternoon!” Seriously I should have thought of that. Duh!

Before too long, Kate started to get the hang of it. She was falling about every 20 seconds, but that was better than she had been doing!

kate skating 2

She fell really hard several times, and I was afraid she was really hurt. The very last time she fell, she landed on her bottom hard, and then I thought to myself (I am totally not kidding) “Why didn’t I think to google ‘what to do when a kid breaks her tailbone’?” I didn’t know if I should pick her up or call 911 or get a stretcher or what. Fortunately, she got tired of waiting on me to figure out what to do, and got up herself.

But let me just say one thing – this roller skating stuff is barbaric. Quite frankly I’m surprised it’s still legal. In the days of professional baby-proofers and kids in booster seats until they get their drivers’ licenses, I cannot believe the blatant disregard for safety while roller skating! There wasn’t a knee pad or an elbow pad or a helmet to be found. At next month’s skating party, I very well might be “That Mom.” And I’ll probably make Kate wear pads and a helmet too. Ha!

In any case, despite the fact that we’ll both be sore and have lots of bruises tomorrow, we had a really great time, and it was so much fun to get to spend a couple hours with Kate on a new adventure.

She is so much fun.

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