A Walk on the Wild Side

Ok so last Friday, Andy and I had this big night planned – we were going to go see one of our very favorite singer/songwriters, Todd Snider, play at the Southgate House in Newport, Kentucky, and since I had won a free night’s stay at the Hyatt from Jo-Lynne it was my birthday, we were going to stay in Cincinnati for the night. And to add to our already exciting plans, my girl Amy in Ohio was going to the concert too – I was soooooper pumped.

We started off the evening at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, Margaritas, and then we were ready to head to the concert. We stepped out on the sidewalk to hail a cab, when Andy said “You know, we could just walk. It can’t be that far.”

“Look, we can see Kentucky.”

He was right, and after a few margaritas big dinner, it sounded like a pretty good idea.

So off we went.

Let me provide some visual aids so you can in fact see what geniuses we are.

Here’s where we were:

And here’s where we needed to be:

So, here’s what we should have done:

But here’s what we did:

As you can see, we walked across the wrong (and completely terrifying, I might add) bridge, and then walked in a GIANT circle around the fine city of Covington, KY, before winding up at the foot of said terrifying bridge once again.

At that point, I sent this text message to my good friend and Northern Kentucky native Emilie:

“We thought we could walk to the Southgate House from Margaritas on 5th St.. We’ve been walking in bleeping circles around covington and we are still miles away.”

Her response?

“Oh no! if you’re in covington you’re a long bleeping way from southgate house. Hope u wore comfy shoes”

Grrrrreat.

By this point we decided that a cab was the most prudent choice for the remainder of our journey, but since they aren’t found in abundance in the fine city of Covington, KY, we had to stop and ask a nice hostess at a neighborhood restaurant to call one for us. As we waited, I got a call from Amy asking where the heck we were. I told her the truth – we were waiting for a cab in Covington – but failed to mention the sojourn that had gotten us there.

Oh, and the best part? All this time I had the brand new Garmin my dad had given me just hours earlier in my purse. Of course, that did not occur to me until the following day.

Finally, our cab came and we arrived safely at the Southgate House. We went upstairs to find not only Amy and her husband but also Shannan, who had no idea who Todd Snider was but wanted to hang out with me and Amy enough to give up her Friday night anyway.

Before long, though, the story of our hike through the hills of my old Kentucky home came out.

Shannan said “I feel so bad – Amy told me you are staying in Covington. I could have picked you up – I drive right through there.”

“Well… we’re actually staying at the Hyatt. We just thought we’d walk over here, but then we ended up taking a cab once we got to Covington.”

Shannan looked at me quizzically. “You tried to walk here from downtown Cincinnati?” she said slowly, as though she were trying to process completely illogical information.

“Yeah,” I said. “We could see Kentucky.”

“Hahahahhahaha you could see Kentucky!” she burst out laughing. “Oh, you cute northerners.”

Cute, dumb… take your pick.

Anyway…we had such a good time. The Captain Morgan music was great, but the company was better. I just love those girls. I wanted to squeeze them. I get all oogly when I think about it – it was just the greatest night.

I had warned Amy earlier in the day that I was likely to get tipsy really excited and express my undying love for her.

I don’t think she or I either one anticipated that the expression of love would be found on the bathroom wall.

So Jenny? In terms of the list of things I should do during my 30s? You can mark “tight rope walk across the Ohio River” and “Deface public property” off the list.

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I Cannot Tell a Lie

Well, maybe that isn’t the most truthful post title I’ve ever written. I mean I believe lying is wrong and everything, but um…

You see, um, it’s just that SOMETIMES your kids catch you off guard. And they don’t give you enough TIME to think of a nice way to put the truth. OR, maybe you don’t KNOW exactly what the truth IS.

Or maybe, you just want to shield their precious, tender feelings. The other day I read this post by Michelle at 937 Moms who is now practically living a double-life that started with a pet-related “little white lie”. Ah, the moral depravity our children drive us to! Michelle’s post got me thinking about a little pet-related, um, half-truth of my own that I must confess I sold to Joshua recently.

You see, our cat Molly has not been quite right for about three weeks. She’s eating, drinking, peeing and pooping in the right places, grooming herself, and still trying to lay on me 24 hours a day – but she doesn’t quite have her balance anymore. She kind of falls over sideways sometimes when she jumps up on the couch and she can no longer jump over the kitchen gate.

Joshua L-O-V-E-S Molly so he has been a little concerned about her. A week or so ago, he was petting her as she slept (which she does 95% of the time) and then all of a sudden he turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, “Mommy, is Molly going to die?”

My heart dropped to my stomach as one of those big fat tears rolled down his cheek. “No, honey, no, Molly is going to be just fine,” I reassured him.

Of course what I was thinking, was, “Unless she gets worse. Because there is no way in H-E-L-L your daddy and I are spending hundreds of dollars to find out what’s wrong with her. So if she gets worse, she IS going to die. Because we will have her put to sleep.”

But you know, I just couldn’t quite bring myself to say that to my five-year-old.

Apparently it doesn’t matter too much, though, because about a week later, when he was once again petting a sleeping Molly, the same tender-hearted little boy looked at me and said, “You know, Mommy, I was just thinking, if Molly dies, we can just get a new kitty.”

Poor Molly. He didn’t even cover her ears when he said it!

This time, I told another half-truth.

“We’re not going to get another kitty, Joshua. I think we’re going to have Molly for a long time.”

Translation: There is no way we are ever getting a new cat when our cats kick the bucket. And I have no idea when that will be.

But ya know. Not gonna say that to a five-year-old either. I figure we’ll cross that shallow grave when we come to it.

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Look what I got.

My husband totally did my 30th birthday up right, and in addition to other great presents and flowers at work yesterday (and some from Jenny as well – I was so excited!), he got me the coolest thing ever…
An iPod Touch! I can hardly stand my excitement.

I’m going to be able to tweet away from my computer!

And do lots of other cool things, I’m sure.

Which is where you come in, my friends. Because really, I have no idea what this thing does. I know I’m supposed to download “apps” and make it do cool stuff like… well, I don’t know. I’m pretty sure Shannan said that she plays Skee-ball on hers, so I’m putting that on the list. Andrea runs with hers, but I’m going to wait and download that app on Monday. Yeah, I’ll definitely start Monday.

But beyond that, I don’t know what apps to get. So help me, will you? What are your favorite iPhone/Touch apps? What does this contraption do that I haven’t dreamed of?

Oh, and Amy in Ohio? I’m totally downloading the Zippo lighter app before the concert tonight!

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