I am officially an idiot.

I seriously should not be allowed to operate a stove. Or a microwave. And especially not a crock pot.

It’s the new year you know, so I have been trying to get better about cooking dinner, bringing my lunch to work (although I started the new year off right by going to BW3 today), saving money, all that. So last night I did a google search to see what I could throw into the crock pot this morning, using ingredients I had on hand.

Eventually, I came across this, a recipe for slow cooker spaghetti chicken. The reviews were pretty good, and one of the only negative ones said it was “great for teenagers but not empty nesters who want something better.” I figured it would be perfect for us, since my pallet reflects the sophistication of a 15-year-old.

Let me show you the recipe so you can identify all the things I did wrong.

Slow Cooker Spaghetti Chicken (from allrecipes.com)
Ingredients
* 1 (16 ounce) package spaghetti, cooked and drained
* 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of chicken soup
* 1 (10.75 ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
* 1 (14.5 ounce) can diced tomatoes with green chile peppers
* 8 ounces processed cheese food
* 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves – boiled and cut into bite-size pieces
Directions
1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add spaghetti and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain and set aside.
2. Put chicken soup, mushroom soup, tomatoes with green chile peppers and cheese in slow cooker over medium heat. Stir together and cook until cheese has melted.
3. Stir cooked chicken and spaghetti into cheese mixture and heat through. Reduce heat to medium low and cook for about 40 minutes.

After looking at this again, it’s worse than I thought. See those directions up there? I basically skipped 1-3. Oops. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

Before omitting all of the steps required to make the dish, I also screwed with the ingredients. The recipe says “1 (16 ounce) package spaghetti, cooked and drained.” Boiling the noodles seemed like an awfully lot of trouble to go through, so I did a little google search and found something that said it was ok to put uncooked pasta into a crock pot. Score! So, instead of using “1 (16 ounce) package spaghetti, cooked and drained,” I used 1 (13.25 ounce) package (whole wheat) spaghetti, uncooked and therefore undrained. I didn’t have “8 ounces processed cheese food” but I did have 4 slices of American cheese. Hey, the less processed cheese food the better, right? And finally, the “4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves – boiled and cut into bite-size pieces.” Yeah. Boiling noodles was too much trouble, I certainly wasn’t about to boil the chicken. Cooking food is what the crock pot is for! So instead, I used 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, straight from the freezer and frozen solid.

So back to the directions. Let me refresh your memory.
1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add spaghetti and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain and set aside.
2. Put chicken soup, mushroom soup, tomatoes with green chile peppers and cheese in slow cooker over medium heat. Stir together and cook until cheese has melted.
3. Stir cooked chicken and spaghetti into cheese mixture and heat through. Reduce heat to medium low and cook for about 40 minutes.

Yeah. I did none of those things. I broke my dry, uncooked and undrained spaghetti noodles in half and threw them in the pot. I then threw in the frozen chicken breasts and added the can of diced tomatoes. I shook the various congealed soups out of their can and right into the pot, and covered the creation with some Kraft singles. Then I put the lid on, set it too cook on low for six hours (what?? that’s only 5 hours and 20 minutes more than the recipe said!) and waltzed out the door to work feeling pretty domestic.

You’ll never believe this, but it didn’t work.

When I got home, this is what I found.
crock pot mess 1

Doesn’t that look good??

It was awful. The chicken-soup-cheese part didn’t look so bad, but the noodles were a disaster. They were hard and stuck together and completely charred. Here’s a closer look.
crock pot mess 2

Needless to say, we didn’t eat it for dinner. Instead, I went to Subway and let the sandwich artists create our meal. I should really leave these things to the professionals.

Cooking FAIL.

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Watching Miracles

Thursday night I got to see something amazing, something I had witnessed before, but not for a long time, and something that I am sure will never get old.

I saw a baby be born!

I had the privilege to see three of my nephews be born, the last almost exactly seven years ago. It was just amazing each time.

Then I had my own babies, but I didn’t really get to watch that per se, since Joshua was an emergency C-section, and although Sophie’s was scheduled, they don’t let you watch yourself being carved up for good reason, I am sure.

So – my friend Tosh was in labor alllll night on December 30th and allll day on the 31st, and about nine p.m., she had her sister call and see if I wanted to come because she was ready to push, and I jumped at the chance.

When I got there, I could see the baby’s head and Tosh had pushed a couple of times. Her mom, sister, dad, and grandmom were all there. I felt so privileged to be included in the group. As soon as I came in, Tosh’s mom, my BFF Luanne, started making motions for me to take pictures. So I did.

A few more pushes, and some funny comments from Tosh (after one push -“Is anyone else a little stressed?” and after the baby’s head was out, “Oh my gosh! There’s still SHOULDERS!”) she gave a nice big push and baby Marler Kay was born – all NINE POUNDS FOUR OUNCES of her!! I was in awe. Tosh was so amazing. I know I keep using that word, and I hate to be inarticulate, but it was amazing. I was in awe and overcome by emotion. I sobbed like the crybaby I am as we all hugged and oohed and aahed over this new life and her mother’s efforts to bring her into this world.

A baby being born is such a miracle. It sounds trite to say, but even now, four days later, I am too stunned by what I saw to be more descriptive. It was just indescribably beautiful and miraculous. Truly I felt like the presence and love of God in the process of this baby’s birth.

Welcome to the world, baby girl!

DSC04369

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2009: A Year in Review

So like all the other bloggers in the world, we’ve put together a post highlighting our favorite posts of the year. Most of those over-achieving bloggers did it yesterday, you know, when it was still 2009, but Jenny and I are always a day late and a dollar short, so this comes as no surprise. And we actually didn’t get around to it until January 2nd last year, so we’re really making progress. (What’s that? You missed last year’s edition? Well click right over here for a dose of nostalgia).

So let’s blast through the past year Mommin’ It Up style, shall we?

First of all, in January, Jenny started the year off right by telling us the story of true love. And her bowels.

Then in February, she got stuck in an elevator (and 10 months later, it still makes me laugh).

In March, I let go of any dignity I had left and told you all a story about Spanx, a pregnancy test and a Target bathroom.

On April 15th I remembered to do my taxes.

Jenny got a little sappy in May and wrote about how we both owe our existence to refrigerators and washing machines.

In June, I drew pictures of the time my husband and I walked to Kentucky.

In July, I got stuck in an elevator (and 5 months later, I still can’t believe the irony).

Jenny’s baby started school in August, and so did mine.

In September, Jenny told us the romantic story of her husband cutting his thumb off with a saw.

Kate and I made a disastrous cake in October.

In November, Jenny was chastised by a disinfectant company and pacified by the mayor-elect of Dayton, all in one day.

And finally, in December Jenny fessed up about the fact that she was a 20-year-old doggy-paddler.

Thank you all for being here through the good times and the bad, laughing at with us and crying with us. We big puffy heart our readers. You both all are the best.

Happy New Year!

Also? Don’t forget about your ovaries.

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