Author: Emily

Apparently Twitter has really hit the mainstream (or at least Fox News), because even my grandma has heard about it.

I was sitting in her kitchen yesterday, minding my own business, when she said to me, “Do you twitter?” Not waiting for my response, she continued. “I saw it on the news. Anna [my sister] and I were waiting for the elevator at the mall, and I asked her if she twitters. She said no, but you do. I asked her what you twitter, and she said you would probably twitter ‘I’m getting on the elevator now.’ Would you do that?”

“I might,” I replied, indignantly.

“Well I can’t imagine why anyone would be interested in that,” she said.

She looked at the baby and said “Sammy, are you going to twitter?” and then turned to me and said “Can you imagine what he’ll be twittering? He’ll probably be twittering with someone in Europe!”

I let that one go.

“Where’d that word come from, anyway? Twitter. It’s a cute word. Your cousins, do they twitter you? No? But they have that Face Space thing, right?”

Just then (fortunately) my cell phone rang.

“Your phone’s ringing,” Grandma said. “Someone’s twittering you!”

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For those of you, like Grandma, who still don’t get Twitter, I bring you “Twitter in Plain English.”

Now go sign up at twitter.com and follow me (@momminitup) and Jenny (@jennyitup), and if you have trouble finding others to follow, let us know and we’ll hook you up with our peeps!

Saturday night, I took the kids shopping for Easter clothes.

And I pined for the days when Kate sat complacently in her stroller, eating Cheerios and not giving me any lip about the clothes I picked out for her.

But I digress.

I could not – could not – believe some of the dresses I was seeing. In the little girls section. Of Macy’s! It’s not like we were in Forever 8 or anything. (That’s me trying to be clever, like Forever 21. Get it? No? Ok, anyway…)

Even Macy’s must be ashamed of themselves, though, because they don’t have any of the questionable dresses that grace their store on their website. So I’ve spent the better part of the evening trying to find pictures to prove my point.

(I won’t tell you about the google searches I’ve performed during this quest for fear that other weirdos with similar searches will wind up on Mommin’ It Up, but I’m hoping this post will be proof enough that I had a good reason for searching those terms when the authorities come a callin’.)

In any case, I present to you example one. Note that this dress is available in sizes 4-6x, perfect for the preschool crowd.

Isn’t that lovely? Because, you know, every little girl needs some black lace.

And how about this one?

Perfect for Easter Sunday… or Dancing with the Stars.

And this… this one is my personal favorite. Again, available in sizes 4-6x.

Really, these dresses aren’t even as bad as the ones I saw the other night, but they were the best examples I could find without going to jail online.

Call me a prude, but five- and six-year-old girls should not be sexy!

Quite honestly, Kate was eyeing some of the very dresses that made my skin crawl – they were pink and sparkly and sequin-y and appealing to her. I was quick to say HELL NO no, but obviously someone’s buying them or they wouldn’t be hanging on the racks.

It seems a great disservice to our daughters to allow them to be sexualized at such a young age.

Between the images in the window of Fredrick’s of Hollywood that we couldn’t miss as we walked into the Stride Rite next door, the pelvic bones of the boys on the signs for Abercrombie and Fitch, and the dresses in the little freaking girls’ section, I felt like I should have blindfolded my kids just to walk through the mall.

So here’s what Kate will be wearing on Easter, and Christmas. And prom.

Of course, I am making a joke in very poor taste kidding.

Here’s the dress I picked for Kate to wear on Easter.

Isn’t that gorgeous? I just love it.

Unfortunately, Kate did not. (see pining for pre-conversational days above).

We did, however, settle on this one, which is also quite pretty (and much prettier in real life!).

So, um, happy Easter shopping to the rest of you. And don’t forget your blindfolds.