Tomorrow’s the big day.

braces

So, here we are. Tomorrow, I go through puberty get braces.

Jenny offered to go with me and live-tweet the whole thing, but I politely declined. Now that I think about it, though, she let me do that while she was having a c-section, so I probably should have returned the favor.

Anyway… It’s been a long two and a half months of wearing my lovely Frankel device, and while it’s gotten much better than it was (in terms of how it feels, not so much in terms of how it looks. Which is still awful.), I am ready to get moving on the next step.

I left the orthodontist a couple weeks ago with rubber bands between my back teeth (which has been a blast, let me tell you) and a purse full of instructions on how to brush my teeth (17 times a day), what to not eat (to paraphrase: everything), and advice on mainlining painkillers for the next 18 months.

And, now that I’m reviewing the literature, a stern warning about something called Lingual Arches potentially becoming embedded into my gums.

This is going to be awesome.

So I’ve read all the materials from my orthodontist, and I even watched their instructional YouTube videos. But I want the real scoop.

What do I need to know about having braces? What are the foods I should for sure avoid? Or, more importantly, what foods will I be able to actually eat?

Should I plan to come back to work after having them put on tomorrow, or will I want to just go home?

I would appreciate any tips, tricks or advice you have!

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The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Remind you of anyone?

Jenny went to college with the guy who created that video. Coincidence? I think not.

But really – outfit of the day for six months? Child’s play! Jenny’s been laboriously detailing her make up for at least three times longer than that.

Every single day.

(For real, have you seen her Instagram account? So. Much. Jenny.)

Given how seriously Jenny takes her face, I am perplexed by this recent interaction:

[Five days ago]

photo (5)

[Today]

I was about to take my #doyourmakeup selfie when I saw this! My nose finally bruised from 5 days ago. Apparently the lighting in my house is bad because I didn't see it til we were outside.
I was about to take my #doyourmakeup selfie when I saw this! My nose finally bruised from 5 days ago. Apparently the lighting in my house is bad because I didn’t see it til we were outside.

Issues, I tell you. The girl has issues.

******
Special thanks to Cherie and Jill for bringing this to my attention. I am grateful they don’t want me to miss an opportunity to make fun of Jenny.

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