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This Just In: I’m Still 12

As I posted Friday, I had to take Joshua to the pediatrician because of a mysterious stomach ailment.  The pediatrician asked about a million questions and then said he needed more information, so he asked me to keep a poop and food diary on Joshua for two weeks.

That’s right, for the next two weeks, I have to look at Joshua’s poop and write down my observations about it’s size, color, consistency, etc.

I love being a mom.  Really, this is the stuff I’ve always dreamed about.

But back to the asking a million questions part.  The doctor asked Joshua many, many questions that ended in the word, “poop”.

Does it hurt when you poop?

When you’re eating, do you feel like you have to poop?

Is there any blood on the toilet paper when you poop?

PoopPoopPoopPoopPoopPoopPoop?

Seriously, after the first question, it was all I could do to not burst out in an ugly, raspberry-esque hysterical laughter.  I had to bite the inside of my mouth and stare down at the top of my son’s head to keep from losing control.

Because there’s something about a learn-ed M.D. saying the word “poop” over and over that brings me to the basest level of immaturity possible.

I couldn’t breathe for a full 30 seconds after he’d said his last “poop” for fear of losing it.  And, since I’ve made a fool of myself in front of this doctor over bowel movements before, I really did not want to lose control.

But I was thisclose.

So, I think my much more solemn and mature husband should attend the follow-up appointment, don’t you?  Because since it is going to involve careful examination of aforementioned poop diary, I don’t think I can be trusted to hold it together.

What makes you giggle like a pre-adolescent boy?

(P.S. – POOP!!!! Made ya laugh!)


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Digest THIS. Or diagnose it for me.

Today after school, I am taking Joshua to the doctor for a mysterious stomach ailment.  It has his stomach in knots and my blood pressure DANGEROUSLY HIGH.   High blood pressure with a side of RAGE.

What’s happening is, Joshua is at least once a day, feeling “sick” DURING a meal.  So he eats some, feels sick, wants to go lay down or try to puke, never does puke, and usually within 10 minutes or so can finish at least some of the meal.

The foods involved are totally random.  The times of day are totally random.  I don’t think he’s faking it, but we’ve been battling this off and on for two months, and I am the one who’s really sick – SICK OF IT.  I am beyond frustrated.

He never throws up, hasn’t had any weird bowel issues, just says he feels sick and wants to lay down, or just stop eating for awhile. He even went to the clinic one day at school during lunch, and lunch is his 2nd favorite part of the day (after recess of course).

This all started back in July – he did throw up in July two separate times after CHUGGING chocolate milk at restaurants, so I think maybe that psychologically damaged him and now he’s terrified of getting sick so he is worrying about it so much that he is making himself feel bad.

We’ve taken him off dairy and it hasn’t seemed to have made any difference.

Bobby doesn’t get home til 7 pm, so the kids have already eaten dinner by then. I am tired of doing dinner by myself for years anyways, I ALWAYS have to struggle to get Sophie to eat, and now THIS – it’s making me apoplectic. Joshua thinks I am mad at him, which is probably making his whole psychosomatic stomach problem worse. I am not mad at him, but I am BEYOND frustrated and I can’t really hold that in anymore.  I can barely hold ANY frustration in by dinner time, which again, I might add, I do by myself five nights a week, outnumbered three to one.

So, how about it, readers? Diagnose my kid for me. That way you can save me a $30 copay at the pediatrician’s office.  And though you probably can’t save my kid from intense counseling and therapy because his mom is so mean, the extra $30 could at least go toward those future therapy bills.  You have until 4:10 PM, Eastern time to figure this one out for me. GO!

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I like to Xoom and I like to Dance!

As Emily told you last month, we are spreading our coolness around the midwest by working with Verizon Wireless’ Midwest Moms.  What up!?  I was rather excited at the beginning of September when Emily handed custody of the Motorola Xoom tablet we are reviewing as part of the program.  I had never used a tablet before and I was intrigued.  After two weeks with the Xoom, my whole family is lovin’ it!  Here are my favorite ways I’ve used the Xoom so far:

1) In the car – Emily shared with you how the Xoom helped make her family’s road trip successful.  Well my family had a similar experience on our way home from Virginia after Labor Day.  Having the Xoom in the car was awwwweee-some! Not only because the fast 3G Verizon service made using the internet and listening to Pandora possible, but because since the Xoom can also be used as a Wi-Fi hotspot, we could use more than one device at the same time! Yee-haa! It was pretty sweet.

2) In a waiting room.  Oh, Lord, do I do a lot of waiting on my children.  This week I used the Xoom to get me through the waiting times at Sophie’s HOUR-LONG gymnastics lesson, her OT session, and Joshua’s swimming lessons.  I can do biz-niss on the Xoom, instead of just waiting!   Anything I would do on my laptop, I can do on the Xoom.  Pay bills, blog, Facebook stalk people, tweet, play games, etc.  And it’s so nice and portable! It fits easily in my purse.

3) At home.  Last week the kids and I hosted a Yo Gabba Gabba party, and I took the opportunity to test out the Xoom as a video camera.  I LOVED using it to record the kids and their *sweet* dancey dance moves!  It is awesome taking video on the big screen, and it was so easy, I gotta tell you I am much more likely to grab the Xoom and take video with it than I am to dig out the video camera.  And, as you can see from the videos below, the Xoom’s video quality is great!  (You should really watch the videos. Joshua’s is only 12 seconds long and features the stylings of Cortney’s son Evan and the cool detachment of Celia’s son Will.  Sophie’s is 37 seconds long.  37 seconds of ADORABLE!)


I love the Xoom! So I’m linking up to Things I Love Thursday at the Diaper Diaries. Head over there to check out what others in the blogosphere are lovin’.

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Verizon Wireless hooked us up with a Motorola Xoom and 6-months of service.

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