Burn Me Up

This is not exactly a topic of Christmas cheer, but it’s what’s on my mind, so it’s what’s coming out.

In the car the other night I heard some of the John Tesh radio show (and it totally made my ears BLEED by the way) and the topic was how much money people spend to ensure that they will look good at their funerals. Apparently, it’s all the rage now to drop a load on botox and the like after you’re dead to ensure that you’ll look peaceful, young, and glamorous WHILE YOU’RE LAYING IN A COFFIN.

Please, people. The minute I die I am gonna be in heaven with Jesus. HEAVEN! This is the minute my body and my vanity cease to exist! So, (sorry mom) cremate that B****! Burn me UP. The body is not gonna matter anymore. And seriously, if you want to look at my dead body, you have major problems which I am just NOT gonna enable.

Burn me up, and then have a party. I LOVE life, but I am going to love what comes next even more. Very possibly because in heaven I am counting on being totally gorgeous without ever having to style my hair or pluck my eyebrows.

Paradise!

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The Ornament

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Thursday Joshua was very excited for me to open the folder he brings home from school every day. Inside was a thick piece of paper, decorated and stapled together. “Merry Christmas Mom and Dad” he had written on the outside. I opened it up to find an ornament he had made for our tree with his school picture in it.

*Sniff*

I got a little misty.

My mom has an ornament of me like this, only it’s my first grade picture, and I knew how much she cherished it.

And now, I know why.

My baby is now a big kindergarten guy, and he made that for our tree, for his mom and dad, and he was so proud of it, and it’s just…it’s a treasure.

And I, ladies and germs, am a hopelessly sentimental old lady.

But look what I have to be sentimental over! HE MADE ME AN ORNAMENT WITH HIS PICTURE ON IT!!! How could I not melt?

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And a Billboard full of Giant Meatballs

Yesterday was the 14-year anniversary of the day my husband asked me to be his girlfriend. (Insert *awwww* here.) So we celebrated by having a HOT DATE. To Ikea. Because we needed to get our kids a shelf for their toys for Christmas and really, we are running out of time!

But anyways, it was super-fun. We had a great time! I hadn’t been back to Ikea since Emily’s and my Ikea Adventure when it first opened. So I was ready for a night of Swedish furniture and design! And Bobby, being the wonderful husband that he is, was ready to be where I wanted to be.

When we got there we were greeted by this:

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Which I am fairly sure is the World’s Largest Picture of Meatballs. It was GIANT, and sent Bobby and me into a fit of giggles!

As soon as we entered into the big blue building, we saw what we wanted. It was literally in between the two entry doors, on a display. It was this:

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The Expedit Bookcase! We wandered upstairs to where it’s actually located on display, found some bins to go with it, and then wandered around in wonder at the rest of the cool Swedish stuff on display!

As alluring as the many, many, signs we saw advertising $2.49 Swedish meatballs were, though, we passed on the cafe.

After successfully navigating the self-serve area where Bobby used his He-Man strength to put the big box o’shelf onto a flatbed cart, and then navigating the self-serve checkout, we were on our way out the door. We’d been there less than an hour and were feeling PRETTY pleased with ourselves.

Until we got about three feet into the parking lot and I realized we’d brought MY car (a sedan) instead of BOBBY’S car (a station wagon.)

Bobby and I looked at the box on our flatbed cart, looked at each other, and prayed to the lit-up giant meatballs that it would fit in the back seat of my car!! We could tell by looking that it was way too long for the trunk.

Because really, it was cold as frozen meatballs, and I did NOT want to wait there for an hour while Bobby drove 30 miles north to get his car.

Fortunately, the meatballs shone down upon us, and with lots of creative shoving on Bobby’s part, and me moving the passenger seat ALLLL the way up, it FIT! *Shew*!! My knees were in the dashboard all the way home, but it was WORTH it!

Thanks, a heap, meatballs!

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