I Cannot Tell a Lie

Well, maybe that isn’t the most truthful post title I’ve ever written. I mean I believe lying is wrong and everything, but um…

You see, um, it’s just that SOMETIMES your kids catch you off guard. And they don’t give you enough TIME to think of a nice way to put the truth. OR, maybe you don’t KNOW exactly what the truth IS.

Or maybe, you just want to shield their precious, tender feelings. The other day I read this post by Michelle at 937 Moms who is now practically living a double-life that started with a pet-related “little white lie”. Ah, the moral depravity our children drive us to! Michelle’s post got me thinking about a little pet-related, um, half-truth of my own that I must confess I sold to Joshua recently.

You see, our cat Molly has not been quite right for about three weeks. She’s eating, drinking, peeing and pooping in the right places, grooming herself, and still trying to lay on me 24 hours a day – but she doesn’t quite have her balance anymore. She kind of falls over sideways sometimes when she jumps up on the couch and she can no longer jump over the kitchen gate.

Joshua L-O-V-E-S Molly so he has been a little concerned about her. A week or so ago, he was petting her as she slept (which she does 95% of the time) and then all of a sudden he turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, “Mommy, is Molly going to die?”

My heart dropped to my stomach as one of those big fat tears rolled down his cheek. “No, honey, no, Molly is going to be just fine,” I reassured him.

Of course what I was thinking, was, “Unless she gets worse. Because there is no way in H-E-L-L your daddy and I are spending hundreds of dollars to find out what’s wrong with her. So if she gets worse, she IS going to die. Because we will have her put to sleep.”

But you know, I just couldn’t quite bring myself to say that to my five-year-old.

Apparently it doesn’t matter too much, though, because about a week later, when he was once again petting a sleeping Molly, the same tender-hearted little boy looked at me and said, “You know, Mommy, I was just thinking, if Molly dies, we can just get a new kitty.”

Poor Molly. He didn’t even cover her ears when he said it!

This time, I told another half-truth.

“We’re not going to get another kitty, Joshua. I think we’re going to have Molly for a long time.”

Translation: There is no way we are ever getting a new cat when our cats kick the bucket. And I have no idea when that will be.

But ya know. Not gonna say that to a five-year-old either. I figure we’ll cross that shallow grave when we come to it.

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Thirty Candles

Today is the day I have been waiting for for oh, I don’t know, approximately 20 months. Because today, as you may have heard, is Emily’s 30th birthday!! And though I realize I will always be older, it gives me a sick pleasure that we now BOTH have a “3” in front of our ages. In fact as I am writing this I can’t help but giggle with glee!

In honor of Emily’s birthday, I have composed a poem:
{clears throat loudly}

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue.
Now that you’re thirty,
I’m almost thirty-two.

Crap.

Isn’t that beautiful? I think I missed my calling.

Well as you may recall, last year on Emily’s 29th birthday, I gave her a list of five things to do before she turned 30. You see, because I love her, I wanted to make sure she lived a little. The five things were: Take pole-dancing lessons (because, and I quote myself, “it’s never too late to get in touch with your inner hoochie”), go skydiving, go partying at MTV’s Spring Break, try out for American Idol, and lastly, buy a Harley. I am sad and extremely disappointed to say that Emily did not complete ANY of these things that I tasked her with.

Booooorrrring.

Nevertheless, I must say I am proud of her anyways! Because despite not doing what I had planned for her, Emily did a lot of great things this year. Things that I would never find myself brave enough to do, like start grad school and the Shred. And take her infant to an amusement park.

Emily mentioned in her post yesterday that she’s made some new friends this decade. Many of these friends she made this year and are of the bloggy variety but have become friends of the “real life” variety. That is because when you meet Emily, you want to be permanently attached to her. She is that great, people. And even if I weren’t her cousin, I know I would love her dearly.

But I am her cousin. And I count myself more than blessed to have gotten to be here for the whole shebang. To have memories of the New Year’s Eve’s spent at Grandma’s, the times she beat me at rummy, or when we rode the Skylab at Kings Island as many times as a row as were humanly possible, when she hit a deer, asked me (once I think) for boyfriend advice, when we visited each other at college, were bridesmaids in each others’ weddings, worked (and suffered) together, emailed each other from the next office over, shared our first pregnancies, held our first babies and posed for a REALLY fugly picture, planned and started this blog together, talked on the cell phone on her drives home from work, IMed all flippin’ day long, and had playdates at the mall…

is priceless.

Happy 30th cousin! I love you & am so proud of you and I hope to embarrass you for many more years to come.

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The Final CountDOWN!

Ah yes, friends, it’s almost that time…and don’t think I’ve forgotten. I’ve been cackling evil-y to myself for several days! Get excited! Emily’s twenties are ALMOST OVER!

magicalkingdoms.com Ticker
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(Em, I thought you, as a total Disney ho, would enjoy this Disney ticker. You’re welcome. And why yes, thank you, I am very thoughtful!)

To celebrate, Emily is generously giving away her twenties – check out Reviewin’ It Up for some awesome giveaways this week starting TODAY!

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