Author: Jenny

Joshua has always been a good talker. He spoke his first word at about seven months (“mm good” – when eating!) Now that he’s five, his conversations are becoming more intellectual and more funny. And also, he’s obsessed with how OLD people are. Well, people, and our cats. Here’s an excerpt from a recent conversation he had with Emily’s daughter Kate (who will be five in a couple weeks):

Joshua: Kate, I need to ask you something. How old are you?

Kate: Well, you already asked me this an hour ago, but I’ll tell you again. I’m four and three-quarters.

Joshua: Well, I’m FIVE! (Proudly shoves five fingers in Kate’s face.)

Kate: (rolls eyes. Emily tells me she is a little tired of everyone else being five already!)

And here is a convo he had with our cat, Molly, who is the ripe old age of 8, slightly younger than our other cat, Paper, who is eight.

Joshua: Molly, you’re seven years old, and I’m five, but I’m bigger than you. You’re older than I am but I’m bigger.

Molly: (stares at him as if to say, “Dude, pet me or move on.”)

Joshua: And Paper is eight years old, and he’s bigger than you too.

Molly: (yawns.) (Man cats are rude!)

Monday, Joshua’s friend Olivia came over. She’s three, and while they were doing a dinosaur puzzle, this conversation ensued:

Joshua: I don’t like dinosaurs. They’re mean!

Olivia: I don’t like them either! They’re mean!

Me: Well, they’re not really mean, they’re just animals…

Joshua: But you don’t have to worry about them anymore, Olivia. They’re extinct. They all DIED.

Olivia: Why did they die?

Joshua: Well, they’re extinct, so they all died.

Olivia: Oh.

Me: (Smacks forehead).

So those are some of my favorite Joshua-isms of late. What are some of the funny things your kids have said recently?