Yesterday, Jenny posted about how her family can’t catch a break with illness, and my sister commented “Worst winter ever.” (um, ps Anna, this seems like the worst winter ever because it is the first winter you’ve had two kids. Just wait until the start school!)
I was all, “It’s not that bad – we haven’t had it at all at our house!”
And then Sam threw up at 3:30 this morning. In our bed. Laying on his back, so it went all over his hair and face.
Did I mention he was in our bed?
So, I have learned my smug lesson for the day. Here’s to hoping it doesn’t spread through the rest of our family like wildfire.
So, last week, we had a good week in this house. It was Joshua’s birthday! And we partied! And I had tons of appointments. And everything went smoothly, including Joshua’s sleepover on Friday night and Sophie’s inaugural cousins sleepover at Emily’s with Kate.
But the week before that…was horrible. Monday the kids had school off for MLK Jr. Day and they had spent the night at my parents. When I was on my way to get them, Sophie began puking at their house. And did about every 45 minutes for the next 10 hours.
Let’s just say all that puking wore her out
Oh wait! Let me back up and say, on Sunday night, while the big kids were spending the night at my parents, BOBBY got sick. My poor husband. It started with him. And he puked all night, slept til 11, and then got up and went to work because of course, he is out of vacation days (they turn over in March) and gets no “sick time”. Poor man.
So anyhoo, he and Sophie had the same thing apparently.Tuesday she didn’t throw up any more but she wasn’t well.
At least this looks more comfortable
Wednesday she was well and back to school! HURRAH!
Wednesday night Joshua threw up all over his bed.
I managed not to get any pictures of him. Maybe because he only puked the once.
Sophie went to school Thursday and Joshua stayed home. But he never did throw up again.
BUT!!! Thursday night, SOPHIE (are you getting confused yet?) puked all over her bed.
Friday they had a snow day. Sophie was a bit peaked but never did throw up again. Joshua was fine.
Until the middle of the night Friday night when he…PUKED ALL OVER HIS BED!
At this point, many midnight showers have been given, scores of laundry loads have been done, and literally hundreds of fishing cuss words have been said under my breath.
Saturday, all was calm.
Sunday, we went ahead with Joshua’s birthday party, but we moved the location to my parent’s house. It was great.
It led to a great week.
Which is why, I shouldn’t have been surprised this morning when Sophie woke me up at 5 a.m. to tell me that she had puked.
But bonus, people: SHE MADE IT TO THE TOILET! This week is already starting off on a positive note.
Except she also has diarrhea. Wheeee! And a rash all over her back, stomach, and neck. Bonus!
Happy Monday from Sophie. And her barf bowl.
Happy Monday everybody! And you might want to keep your distance.
On our Facebook page, a reader left a comment that started with “That was way more interesting than I thought it would be.” And I thought to myself, “Well, that’s a success, then, right?”
I’ve gotta say – it’s probably best that our readers set their expectations really low for what they’re going to find on this site. Because – let’s face it – you never know.
You might click over and find yourself reading about my kid’s mullet, or about how Jenny’s boobs are lopsided thanks to her son’s nursing preferences.
There’s even a post in the archives called “In Which a Tote Bag Tragedy is Averted,” and don’t forget the time I asked a super important question about what to do with hamburger grease.
Seriously, people, this is life changing shit we’ve got going on over here.
So the lesson in this – if you haven’t learned it already, and chances are if this isn’t your first time here, you already have – is DON’T EXPECT BRILLIANCE. Do not come here looking for insight, poetic prose, or deep thoughts.
You’re not going to find those things. You’re going to find things like Jenny going to Walmart, me encouraging drug use, and us making idiots out of ourselves in front of celebrities. You’re going to find lots (and lots and lots) of pictures of Jenny’s face and of cooking disasters once described to a group of PR professionals in a swanky Chicago steakhouse as “worse than the inside of my uterus.”
And Jenny’s not only going to tell me how to live my life, but she’s going to tell the rest of you how to live your lives too.
