Mommin' It Up since 2004!
But about 10 days ago I self-diagnosed myself with a wheat allergy and then on Thanksgiving I accidentally got some wheat in some food that I was carefully trying to avoid and – BAM! – had a reaction which means I REALLY DO have a wheat allergy and I can never eat anything good again EVER!!!
Which makes me want to end it all and go to heaven because I am pretty sure in heaven I can have pasta and GARLIC BREAD, dangit!
Ugggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Like we um, “mentioned” yesterday, Emily and I headed down to Cincinnati to Paul Brown stadium, home of the Bengals to meet one Nicholas Scott Lachey, entertainer extraordinaire. Nick is working with one of our favorite brands EVER, Tide, on their “Show Us Your Colors” campaign with the NFL. Since Nick is a HUGE Cincy sports fan, it’s a great campaign for him. If you go to Tide’s FB page (linked above) and click on the Show Us Your Colors tab, you can upload a pic of yourself in your favorite NFL team’s colors and be entered to win a trip to Super Bowl XLVII. So go do that! AFTER you read the rest of this facscinating post, of coouuurse.
What we really wanted from Nick was not to embarass him with inappropriate questions, but rather to use our sparkling personalities and feminine wiles to make him love us and THEN confront him about why he STOOD EMILY UP for lunch two years ago. In our minds, he’d end up on his knees begging Emily for forgiveness. Possibly, he’d produce a bouquet of flowers out of nowhere for Emily. Maybe even declare his undying devotion. Something like that!
So, what actually happened is that Emily and I got to sit down with Nick, just the three of us, in a really, casual, relaxed environment – and we had a nice little chat. Nick totally acted like just a regular guy, and not a “celebrity”. We really felt like we were just talking to someone we’d met out and about! (Though we don’t normally meet hot guys and strike up convos with them when we’re out and about – FYI.) We talked about his new baby boy Camden and his roots in Cincinnati and we even found out that Nick’s dad is from the Dayton area and that Nick spent time here as a kid! And then after he divulged that little factoid, Emily was all…
“Speaking of Dayton…I was supposed to have lunch with you in Dayton two years ago and it never happened.”
I gotta tell you guys, I was rather proud of Em in that moment. I wasn’t sure she’d have the cajones to bring it up!
She then went on to let Nick know that she’s a true stalker and that she entered that contest to have lunch with him every darn day! (I think at this point, Nick began inching backward a little bit…)
Believe it or not, Nick was really gracious even though Emily was like a rabid woman scorned and began shooting red stalker death rays out of her eye. (Just kidding, she was, to my disappointment, the model of decorum.) He totally knew and remembered what she was talking about. He confirmed what the radio station had told Emily, that the ultimate cancellation of the event was due to his parting ways with his record label. And he was rather sorry that the record folks led Emily on for ten months! He was all, “Let’s go get a croissant and break some bread together so I can make it up to you!” (Wait, Em? Was he asking you out??)
So after THAT awkwardness, we chatted a few more minutes about the work he’s done with Cincinnati Children’s hospital, his new lullaby CD he’s recording for his son, and the fact that he and his wife Vanessa plan to move back to the good old Cincy area and raise their kids here by the time they’re in school. Oh, and we also talked about this guy:
Because every Cincinnatian-Daytonian who returns home after a period of time away needs to know the status of Big Butter/Touchdown/How Big is This Fish JEEBUS. It’s common ground, people!
Before we left, Nick gave us picture of himself and his baby boy Camden wearing their Bengals team colors and he signed mine “To Jenny: now that I’ve met you I don’t know how I’m going to go back to my real life. Your wit and charm far outshadow that of your stalker cousin’s, but it’s nice of you to let her hang out with you. Also, you’re totally hot. Stay classy. Love, Nick. P.S. Isn’t my baby cute?”
It’s kind of hard to read his writing but I’m pretty sure that’s what it says.
All in all, Nick was pretty awesome. I think Emily’s really sorry for being so mean to him two years ago after he left her at the lunch counter. And you know what else? I have a feeling, just a feeling, that Nick and the Supercousins have not seen the last of each other!
“Not to tease you. BUT!!! Tomorrow we are doing something that is going to be either the BEST or the WORST moment in Mommin’ It Up history!! Stayed tuned” — Jenny Rapson, 11/19/12
So. Let’s see. Where to begin.
Remember a long, long time ago when Nick Lachey stood me up?
Well guess what.
Jenny and I are going to meet him. Today. And we’re not just going to meet him – we’re going to sit down with Nick and interview him.
You see, Nick has teamed up with one of our favorite brands – Tide – and the NFL (Tide’s their official detergent, you know) and they’re hosting an event at the home of Nick’s favorite team, the Cincinnati Bengals. And OMG BFF we are invited!!
Can you guess what our first question will be??
I haven’t exactly decided how to broach the subject with him. Just put it out there on the table first thing? “Hi! So nice to meet you! We almost met once before but you totally stood me up. So glad you could make it today!”
Or wait until we’ve ingratiated ourselves to him and be like “Just one more thing. There was this contest on the radio to win lunch with you and I entered EVERY DAY. And I won!!! It was awesome. But you didn’t show. Can you explain yourself?”
I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but we are SO EXCITED to get to the bottom of this.
And also to get our picture taken with him.
But! We don’t want to make complete jackwagons out of ourselves, so we’ve prepped our other questions carefully.
Actually, that’s not true. We haven’t done that at all. But what we have done is create a list of questions that we must keep to ourselves.
Without further ado…
The Top Ten Questions We Cannot Under Any Circumstances Ask Nick Lachey.
#1. What are your thoughts on Jessica giving her baby the same name as your brother? Many, many books have been published that contain at least 1,999 names that are NOT her ex-husband’s ex-boy band co-star brother’s name.
#2. Any question that starts with “Remember that time you were on Newlyweds?” (Which, I might add, eliminates all important questions.)
#3. Did you ever have the hots for Ashlee?
#4. How about Tina?
#5. Speaking of the Simpsons – did you know Papa Joe was gay?
#6. Did Papa Joe always hate you because he put the moves on you and you rejected him? (Here I always thought it was because he put the moves on Jessica and she rejected him. Goes to show there’s more behind the scenes that we see on reality tv!)
#7. Did Vanessa use Jessica’s wedding planning book before your big day?
#8. Do you and Vanessa have plans for a reality show based on your lives?
#9. Who got custody of Daisy?
#10. When Vanessa takes kids to the pool, do they actually go swimming?
Ok, now that we’ve gotten that out of our system, we should be good to go!! We just need to find a classy way to ask him why he left me standing at the altar – I mean, eating lunch by myself – and we have to make sure we don’t let the word “Jessica” cross our lips. And Jenny has to NOT tell him I’m going to lick him, like she did the last time we met a famous person. And I have to actually speak and not sit there like a mute dumbass, like I did the last time we met a famous person. And, OMG, we have to stay out of elevators at all costs.
Yeah. This is going to be good.
