Mommin' It Up!

September 3, 2012September 1, 2012

It’s the MOST wonderful time…of the YEAR!

I’m talking about Labor Day, of course. Happy Labor Day! It’s my very favorite holiday of the year. I know that seems a little odd, but you see, I was BORN on Labor Day. Which makes for a hilarious joke (unless you’re my mom). Since Labor Day is always a Monday, my birthday doesn’t always fall on it, but it means that every year in the neighborhood of my birthday we get a long weekend which equals more chances to celebrate…ME!

My real birthday is Wednesday, in case you were wondering. So you have two whole days to get me a gift. Lucky for you we live in a world of online shopping and express shipping and since I’m going to be 35 this year and that’s kind of a BIG birthday, I think you should probably take advantage of the technology and get me something COOL!

I might have a few suggestions. (Like I do every year.)

Or an entire Pinterest board devoted to what I’d like. Ahem.

Shockingly, this entire board is made up of Lands’ End clothes! You see, I don’t need much. I don’t need gadgets or jewelry or “stuff” but I do love clothes. Especially Lands’ End. And no, they aren’t sponsoring this post. (Although, really, I should’ve asked because who wouldn’t want to sponsor MY birthday, right? It really should be a national holiday!) It’s just that LE is what I love, it’s 95% of my wardrobe, and well, I have an insatiable lust for everything they make.

So go check out my Birthday Wish List Pinterest board, gawk at the lovely fall clothing, and then email me for my size preference and home address. Thank you in advance! I think 35 is going to be my best-dressed year EVER!

August 31, 2012

Jenny’s Life Klass: How to avoid giving your child a stupid name

Welcome to Jenny’s Life Klass #5: How to avoid giving your child a stupid name! I am so glad you are still here along for the ride with me. You might want to put on your thick skin for this one, however. If you haven’t been offended by any of my no-nonsense Life Klass lessons before this one, well…congrats. I hope today is not the day I touch a nerve. Because you see, I am actually a very nice person. And I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But a quick trip through my children’s yearbooks from the last couple of years has taught me one thing: Some of you are naming your children unforgivable stupid things.

I want to help, America! feel it is my duty to try and slow this down a bit. Because one day, fellow parents? If we are lucky, our children will have the assertiveness to put his or her name on a job application. And if that name is STUPID? Your child could immediately be out of the running for that position. I know this because I used to hire people. And if I couldn’t say the name on the resume without laughing my butt off? I didn’t make the call. So, listen up mom and dad! If you care about your little darling’s future, you need to follow these three rules to avoid giving your baby a stupid, life-ruining name. And remember! If you’ve already done this, you can always go to court and change the kid’s name. It’s never too late to do the right thing. So lean in close to the screen and take notes, people. Your decision to follow or eschew these rules is vital to your child’s success in life.

1) Apostrophes should NOT be used in first names. Apostrophes are to show possession or be used in contractions. If your child’s name is a contraction IT IS STUPID. Sorry, but it’s true. Maybe it’s a cute name when you pronounce it, but spelled out? It’s dumb as a doornail. So don’t do it. Sorry, pedigreed-ladies, this goes for “family names” too. If your mother’s maiden named was O’Hara and you want to name your kid that, PUT THAT NAME IN THE MIDDLE. Apostrophes are okay in middle names if it is a family name and not a made-up contraction. Sorry, I don’t make up the rules (oh wait YES I DO) I just enforce them! I know that’s a major bummer because you wanted to name your twins Court’nee and Can’dee but TOO BAD.

2) Do not take a “regular” word, be it noun, verb, adverb, or adjective, and turn it into a name. Do. Not. Do. It. If you are thinking about committing this tragedy, let me tell you about a little girl in Sophie’s preschool class named “Honesty”. Except it was spelled Honest’I. WHICH ALSO VIOLATES RULE TWO. And the capital I? I should make another rule for that. Poor Honest’I was a total cutie with an unfortunate name. Because honesty is a character quality, not a name. And I don’t know what the heck Honest’I is but it is not cute. The girl was darling, but she had both an unfortunate name and transient parents who only had her in the school for two months (start on Halloween, gone by Christmas break!) so I fear for her future. If I were her I’d at least start spelling my name “Honesty” before it’s time to start filling out resumes and job applications. Sigh. So if you are thinking of naming your kid after a trait or virtue, just don’t. It’s kinda pretentious, and NO PRESSURE on little Excellence (but better than X’cellence) and Virtue, geez.

3) The third and final rule in this holy trinity is specifically for parents of boys. Future girly mamas, you can breathe a sigh of relief, I’m not going to kill any more of your naming dreams. I have noticed, once again, leafing through my kids’ yearbooks, that there is a trend in naming boys things that end with the “In” sound. For example, Aiden, Jayden, Caden, Braden. These are all perfectly great names. UNLESS YOU SPELL THEM WRONG. Hear me out people: because this is important. “Jayden” is a boy’s name (or a girl’s, heck, that’s fine!), but “Jaydann” is a GIRL’S name. If you end your child’s name in “ann” you had better be naming a girl. Do not ruin the “in” names by spelling them “ann”. If that baby has a winkie, please, please, please, don’t give him a name fit for a vajayjay. PLEASE. I shouldn’t even have to tell you what the social consequences of an error in judgment such as that one will be!

Three simple rules, my fair klassmates. You can follow them, I know you can! And remember, don’t shoot the messenger. I’m not trying to rain on your creativity, I’m just trying to help your kid have a bright, taunt-free future. Where he or she can get a JOB. You are welcome! Now go forth and serve and don’t name your kids dumb things. And also, don’t be mad at me.

Kisses!

August 30, 2012August 29, 2012

School Rules! My world.

Last Tuesday was the day I had been waiting for, nay, DREAMING ABOUT since June.

The first day of school!!!

As I have confessed before, I am not a very good summer mom. I just don’t enjoy having all the kids under my feet ALL DAY. And in the big kids’ case, in each other’s faces all day. The reality is that we are all much happier when the kids are in school. And, since Sophie was starting full[day kindergarten, Jonah and I were finally going to have our chance to be one-on-one, and I was truly, truly, anticipating that with joy.

But let me back up a little bit. As I mentioned, Sophie was starting kindergarten!! This is major major major, because almost two years ago when her developmental delays were first diagnosed and I sat at the table with a team from our local public school district, they asked me, “What are your goals for Sophia?” and I answered, “I want her to be able to go to regular kindergarten.”

And she is going to a regular kindergarten. Entering it reading at a first grade level, knowing her sight words up to fourth grade.

All I can say about that is praise the Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you God! We are so grateful.

Sophie was SO excited to go to kindergarten. She ran right into the room and hugged her teacher. She sat at her desk and happily kissed us goodbye. She was so thrilled and happy to be in that classroom that I didn’t even get teary-eyed. I could be nothing but happy for her!

sophiefirstday2012 — Sophie at her desk on her first day of kindergarten

She loved every minute of her first day and every minute since! I love hearing her blow-by-blow reports when she comes home. At parent information night, her teacher said to me, “I think Sophie is going to be a teacher when she grows up.” Which to me, is code for “Sophie enjoys telling everyone in the class what to do.” It made me laugh and did not surprise me one bit!

Joshua, even though he is entering third grade, was a little bit more hesitant about starting school. My sensitive guy was so afraid of the unknown, he would have rather just stayed home with me. But, he had a great day and is having a great year so far, just like I knew he would!

2ndday2012 — They are so darn cute I had to take their pic on the 2nd day of school too!

So, after a week, my big kids are doing well in school and enjoying it. And even though I have taken on a part-time work-from-home job, Jonah and I are really enjoying having our alone time, too!

I love my one-on-one time with my boy, just me and him without our lives being ruled by the arduous preschool drop-off/pick-up schedule. I love having that special time with just HIM that I was able to have with Joshua before Sophie came along and with Sophie after Joshua went to school and before Jonah was born. It’s finally the baby’s turn to have mommy all to himself! So far, it’s been awesome! I love, love, love, that baby boy. He and I are having so much fun together, and when the big kids come home from school, we are all happy to see each other and it’s fantastic.

I love school. It rules my world!

Are your kids off to school yet this year?