Mommin' It Up!

Dear People Who Drive Down the Same Roads I Do,

Oh hi. Remember me? Probably not, but I’m the driver of one of the many cars you zoomed by in the last week or so. I imagine you didn’t see me, though, because you were in such a hurry. In fact, from the way you were driving, I must assume that you were either bleeding, in labor, or practicing for a local drag race.

I’m sure wherever you’re going is super duper important – you don’t want to be late for work, or maybe you don’t want to miss the first three minutes of The Bachelor.

But here’s the thing.

We live in rural Ohio. In case you haven’t noticed, the roads we travel down every day look pretty much like this.

And it is spring. Otherwise known as the time farmers plant shit. So it stands to reason that every once in a while we’re going to be caught behind one of these.

See that orange triangle on the back? Unless I’m remembering the study guide from my driver’s ed class incorrectly, that indicates a slow moving vehicle.

In other words, it means “Calm your ass down.”

Now, I’m no more of a fan of driving 30 miles per hour than you are. But I am, however, a fan of being alive. And I’m a fan of my kids being alive and even you being alive. I would prefer we all remain that way. So please, please stop passing me, the nice farmers, and the other drivers who have some sense when it’s not safe to do so. By “not safe,” I mean when there’s a double yellow, a curvy road, an upcoming hill… that kind of thing.

And for the love of all that is holy, please stop passing 14 cars and the offending farm equipment all at once.

Thank you.

XOXO,
Emily