Tonight was the first night of my very last class. I’m working on a MA in instructional design and technology, and this is my final semester. (There’s also that minor detail called a thesis, but I’m sure they’ll be plenty of neurotic posts on that subject at a later date.) I’m in a class about human development that I think is going to be rather interesting. The professor has a “traditional” style, I’m told, and from what I can tell that consists of her lecturing and us taking notes. And blue book tests. Oh, how I love the blue book tests. That was the standard teaching style back in the olden days when I was in college, and it is a welcomed relief from the “Go outside and observe a tree for eight minutes” nonsense that I dealt with last semester. So anyway, I think it’s going to be a pretty good class.
However, it was when I got home that I remembered just how much fun “class night” is – I guess I blocked it out during the break. It’s after 7:30 by the time I get home from class, which means it’s almost immediately bedtime. I pretty much walk through the door on those nights and put Sam to bed – I hardly get to see him at all. After he’s down, it’s time to start the process with Kate, and most of the time, like tonight, that’s not easy. Because I just got home, she doesn’t want me to leave her room after stories and prayers the way I typically would, which leads to lots of tears and phrases like “Mommy I just miss you” and “Mommy I just want you,” which of course makes me feel quite guilty. Tonight I was extremely exhausted and just wanted to go to bed myself, and I didn’t have a lot of patience, which of course made the guilt even worse.
Jenny often reminds me that she was in kindergarten, like Kate, when her mom earned a master’s degree, and that she was not psychologically damaged and in fact hardly remembers it. I know this will be the case with Kate as well, and though it’s hard to have that perspective when she’s crying because she hasn’t seen me all day, I am trying to keep that in mind. And, it will be over soon, right?
One week down, 15 weeks to go.
