Today it’s my turn for a pre-travel freak out… but mine is nothing like Jenny’s – it’s not about a to-do list or panicking because I can’t keep my weekend schedule straight.
That’s because I’m already packed and have my schedule memorized, my house is perfectly clean, everything’s set for the four different people who will be taking shifts caring for my kids, and I’m completely ready to go.
(Oh wait, absolutely none of that is true.)
But no, my pre-travel freak-out has more to do with something I cannot control… and that is Jenny’s behavior.
So, without further ado…
The Top Ten Ways I’m Afraid Jenny Will Embarrass Me at BlogHer!
10. She’ll bowl. You may not know this about Jenny, but she’s not the most, um, athletically gifted among us.
9. She’ll blow our cover. We are a big deal! We have astounding traffic and make the big bucks. Seriously, people, believe me!
8. She’ll talk about poop. She has the tendency to do this, as you well know.
7. She’ll get tipsy after 1/8th of a drink. Actually, I’m ok with that as long as I get the remaining 7/8th!
6. She’ll call me crying, not sure where she’s supposed to be or how to get there. I’ve tried to alleviate this possibility by making a very detailed Excel spreadsheet listed each day in half hour increments and complete with hyperlinks to Google Maps, but I still think this is an entirely likely scenario.
5. She’ll call me crying when she gets stuck in an elevator. We’ve been there, done that, people, and I’m not sure whether she, I or the entire blogosphere can go through that again.
4. She’ll show up to every session and party sweaty and smelly because she insists on taking the stairs (see above). Again, we’ve been there, done that… not pretty. Remember the Yanni Voices concert? She wouldn’t get in the elevator then either, and made poor pregnant Erin and Erin’s unsuspecting husband hoof it with her.
3. She’ll get tipsy (see item 7) and tell all my secrets. Again, a very real possibility.
2. She’ll dance. I have a very strict no-dancing policy, and I hold her to that standard as well. Believe me, you do not want to see either of us dance.
and finally my number one way I’m afraid Jenny will embarrass me at BlogHer…
1. She’ll make me hug people. Hugs, as defined, by Jenny are the BEST. Hugs, as defined by Emily, are an incredibly awkward social custom. So if you see us there and she tries to smother you with kisses and I stand back and say “Hello, nice to meet you,” know that it’s not you, it’s me.
(I love you, Cousin! I’m just kidding about all of this. Sort of.)
For more Top Ten Tuesday, head over to Oh Amanda!
