Because I always have very bright ideas.
And by “bright,” I mean “awful.” But at the time, I think I am having a good idea. Looking back, though, it’s always obvious that it was a very bad idea all along.
For example… I was at the mall the other day and needed to change Sam’s diaper. I went to the restroom in the department store where I was shopping, but it was closed for cleaning. (This, by the way, is the same restroom that I was unceremoniously kicked out of by the cleaning man while I was trying to nurse my only-a-couple-weeks-old baby a few months ago. Remind me to stay out of there.) Anyway… back to my bright idea.
So since the closest restroom was closed, I decided just to take Sam out into the mall and change him in his stroller. Great idea, huh? Oh, have I mentioned that I knew that this was a poopy diaper? Yeah. So I sat down on a bench and turned the stroller toward me, and took Sammy’s diaper off. It must have taken me an inordinate amount of time to reach for the wipes, though, because by the time I turned back to my son, pee was everywhere.
And still coming out.
He peed on his stroller, himself, my knee, my shoe and the floor. It was awesome. The old people sitting on the bench across from me were giving me dirty looks. You’d think old people would just make googly eyes at the baby and think pee was cute, but apparently not so much. I think they were afraid they were going to slip and fall on the pee when they started their next mall-walking lap.
I finally got us both cleaned up the best I could, but Sam’s stroller seat was soaked, so I had to carry him and push the stroller all the way to the car. When I got home, I told Andy all about my trials and tribulations and, though he would never say it, the expression on his face very clearly said “What did you think was going to happen when you decided to change his diaper in the stroller, genius?” And I have to admit, he has a point.
But it seemed like a good idea at the time…
