Mommin' It Up!

February 3, 2014

Polar Whoretex

Old Man Winter is a man-whore. I don’t think we can STOP him from spreading his herpes-like snow and ice all over our region once again, so ladies and gentteeelman, if you will, I HAVE A PLAN.

Let’s make a pact. Tomorrow night, when the first flakes of fluffy white poison begin to fall from the sky, let us don our fuzzy bathrobes, hook ourselves up to an IV drip of protein-infused NyQuil (you know, the protein to keep us alive) AND SLEEP THE REST OF THIS WINTER AWAY.

I really think it’s the only way to protect ourselves by being driven insane. This weather is MADNESS! Sanity-destroying! So maybe Old Man Winter has syphilis, too.

See ya in March…oh who am I kidding? APRIL! See you in April, friends! Stay warm!

January 31, 2014

To Bill, With Love. And a Smidge of Anger.

The following is a guest post from the third SuperCousin, Anna. Also known as Emily’s sister. Because, when someone emails you a rant THIS GOOD, you have to publish it! Enjoy!

***

Dear Microsoft,

Once upon a time, I was a young, recent college graduate, working at her first full time job. And as it happened, I didn’t have enough to do to keep busy. Ok, that’s an over- statement, I was mind numbingly bored and blogs and Pinterest didn’t exist yet (most unfortunately, because I was also planning a wedding!) and one can really only play so much solitaire. So I decided to learn Microsoft Office programs. And you captured my heart. The words “mail merge” are dreamy to me. And Access, O Access, how I heart thee, let me use an Excel spreadsheet to count the ways.

That’s why I hate to tell you this, but I think we might have to break up. And there is one thing to blame: Windows 8.

Because, Here’s the thing, you’re not cool. You’re just not. You’re not creative. You’re not something hipsters and art students are going to be excited about using. But what you are (or were!) is familiar. You’re what 95 percent of people know how to use. I never wanted to use Apple because I knew how to use you so well. It was your one strength, the thing that made me loyal to you.

And with Windows 8, you’ve pretty much blown all that to crap. There isn’t even a start button, for goodness sake. The first time I turned on our new computer, I couldn’t figure out how to play my daughter’s music cd. Do you hear me? I couldn’t even play a CD. I couldn’t find “my computer.” I couldn’t figure out how to shut the damn thing down.

For the love of Bob, why would you think that it was a good idea to take something that 98% of everyone knew how to use? Because not needing to learn something new is what you had going for you. iPads? Oh wait that’s not you guys. iPhones? Nope, not you either. iTunes? uh uh. But you had this one thing: I knew how to use you. But now, I might just make the jump. Because I don’t know that I want to invest in a relationship with a bunch of nincompoops.

From Weezer’s “Buddy Holly” video to CTL+ALT+DEL, you won my heart at spell check. I’d like to say “it’s not you, it’s me”, but it’s you. Bring back the start button and maybe we can talk again. I’d even take being able to upload the pictures on my camera. Until then, I will remain formerly loyal user.

Love,

Anna

P.S. You suck.

January 30, 2014

Goodreads

Are you on Goodreads? (and if you are, are we friends?!?) If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a way to keep track of all the books you’ve read and those you want to read, and to connect with friends and read their reviews and recommendations.

As a list-making obsessive reader, I kind of love it.

I actually don’t keep up with it as much as I’d like, but I’m going to start because for the past few weeks I’ve been on a reading tear and I want to keep it up! Not too long ago, I came across a post on Buzzfeed titled “16 Books to Read Before They Hit Theaters This Year,” and I’ve been working my way through it.

I’ve really enjoyed these books and wanted to share them with you!

Here’s the list from Buzzfeed, and what I thought of the books.

1. Labor Day by Joyce Maynard. I just started reading this a couple of nights ago, but I love it so far. I’ve seen the preview for the movie a couple times and it looks soooo good. And what do you know, it comes out tomorrow! I’m sure I’ll have some free time to go see it approximately never.

2. The Monuments Men by Robert M. Edsel and Bret Witter. It’s almost my turn to borrow this from the library, but I haven’t gotten it yet, but I can’t wait to read it because it’s about World War II, and Jenny and I are a little obsessed with that time in history. I don’t know anything about the book other than that, and I don’t want to! The movie comes out February 7 and has George Clooney and Matt Damon, so…

3. Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. Not my thing.

4. Winter’s Tale by Mark Helprin. This book looks lovely but I haven’t read it yet. The movie comes out on Valentine’s Day.

5. A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby I just finished this book a few days ago. It is a strange premise – a group of four strangers who bond over the fact that they each tried to kill themselves on the same night, but I enjoyed the book and I’m sure the movie will be good, as Nick Hornby books-turned-movies typically are.

6. Divergent by Veronica Roth. Leaving this one to my husband – he read them all.

7. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I already wrote a post about how much I loved this book, but it was incredible. I can’t wait to see the movie, which comes out in June.

8. The Hundred-Foot Journey by Richard C. Morais. Haven’t read this one, but it’s on my list. The movie is produced by Oprah Winfrey and Steven Spielberg.

9. The Giver by Lois Lowry. I read this in high school (middle school? at some point, anyway) but I don’t remember a thing about it. I should reread it!

10. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn. Gillian Flynn’s biggest hit was Gone Girl, but I think I liked Dark Places even better. That book was some crazy stuff, and I think it will make a good movie!

11. This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper. Again, I’m waiting on this one from the library too, and I can’t wait to read it. I also can’t wait to see the movie, because Jason Bateman. Enough said.

12. The Maze Runner by James Dashner. I can’t see myself reading/watching this one!

13. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. Even though I liked Dark Places better, Gone Girl was really good. I made Andy read it so I had someone to talk to about it, because it’s one of those books that requires discussion.

14. Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. Jenny recommended this book to me a while back (and wrote about it here), and I just loved it. It is an incredible story, and I would recommend it to anyone.

15. Wild by Cheryl Strayed. I read this a while ago too. It’s a memoir of a woman who hiked the Pacific Crest Trail by herself, and it was really interesting.

16. Serena by Ron Rash. Waiting on this one too, but I am anxious to get it because it looks great.

What have you been reading lately?