Last night Bobby was at a work thing so I took the kids to the mall because my birthday money was burning a hole in my pocket, and I’ve recently ruined a couple of shirts that I wear for everyday mommin’, so I thought I’d see what I could find for myself and then let Joshua play at the play place.
After some semi-successful shirt shopping, Sophie and I settled in at the play place while Joshua ran around and had fun like a crazy kiddo. Before long, I couldn’t help myself, and I did what I have found myself doing often since I became a mom, and especially in the last few months since I became a stay-at-homer. I started watching the other moms, and comparing myself to them. I’ve been doing this a lot lately where there are mom-types gathered: the mall, the grocery, the park, the bookstore. I look at what they’re wearing, how they’ve done their hair, their makeup (or lack of it). Then I compare myself to see how I measure up. I remember one day after I had first started staying at home, I took both my kiddos to Babies ‘R Us. I had the no-makeup-and-ponytail look going on. Not cute. I saw two moms there whose eyes I wanted to SCRATCH OUT they looked so PERFECT! One was prego and “all belly†with perfectly cute maternity outfit and blown-out hair, lovely makeup, and well-dressed first child in the cart. The other mom was in ripped jeans, tight tank top, and also had the perfectly blown out hair and makeup, as well as killer manicure and adorable child. I had the adorable children and not much else. I slid out of there feeling pretty low.
Tonight I fared a little better. I had on a pretty ho-hum outfit – denim capris and a t-shirt, and I was again rockin’ the ponytail, but I had a respectable makeup job. And there were a couple moms at the play place rockin’ the TUBE TOP who really shouldn’t have been. But really, what does it matter? WHY can’t I go anywhere without comparing myself? Why is it important for me to look pretty, hip, cool, trendy, etc?
Anyone got an answer for me?
