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Naked Grandmas and Cat Poop.

Jenny and I are pretty obsessed with the fun little website that tells us how many people are reading this blog every day (and thanks to both of you who are). One of the funnest most entertaining features of that site is reading about the search terms that lead people here.

It’s pretty amusing (and frightening) to see what people actually type into Google. Take a look.

8 weeks pregnant horrible fatigue impossible to work. Oops, maybe it was me that googled this.

A bird fell in my lap, what does that mean? I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure you’re not going to find the answer at Mommin’ It Up.

As an adult, have you ever had your temperature taken rectally in a doctor’s office. No, but thanks for asking.

Baby born in panera bread parking lot. It’s really surprising that this didn’t happen to Kate, what with all the cinnamon crunch bagels I was eating.

Baby throwing up stinky poop. Throwing up poop? That must be awful.

Bad reasons for a trampoline. I can’t think of any good reasons, actually.

Bobby go poop. I know that Jenny talks about her kids poop a lot, but I think she’s (fortunately) failed to enlighten us about her husband’s. That said, keep checking back.

Cat grunts when he poops. Cats can grunt?

Earbrows? I thought Kate made this word up!

Easier to breastfeed in hotslings or peanut shell. I don’t know what a hotsling is, but I think it would be rather hard to breastfeed in a peanut shell.

Girl breastfeeding cat. Ok you’re definitely not going to find that on this site, weirdo.

Girls that have peed in their pants on a car journey. Jenny! I told you not to post about that!

Grandma naked. YIKES. Please tell me that person didn’t search Google Images.

Hate being a mommy. If that phrase is leading people here, we need to re-evaluate our content.

How do i tell my son about erections. Jenny, would you like to take this one?

Jenny is a turd. hahahahahaha

My 7 year old drives me crazy. Fast forward to Mommin’ It Up in 2011…

My grandma had pantyhose on. I suppose that’s better than Naked Grandma from above.

“Pooping his pants” blog. Great, is this how we’re known?

Pumping while driving. My speciality.

Purple poop pumper. Huh?

Reasons to enter old ladies beauty contest. Um… well… sorry, I’ve got nothing.

Vagina arms. Apparently Joshua’s not the only one to see the resemblance.

What kind of pest scratch in the midnight. I don’t even know what that means.

And finally…

When i eat fiber, i poop. Isn’t that the idea?

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WFMW: Saving Money on Groceries

A few months ago, when my husband and I decided I would quit my job to be a stay-at-home-mom, he told me, “Your new job is to figure out how we can afford for you to stay home.” As one who’s always been a) a worrier about money and b) a lover of a bargain, I was eager to rise to this challenge! It also helps that I’m c) a bit of a control freak and this quest has helped me feel some control over our financial well-being also. So, today I thought I’d share with you some changes in my grocery-getting that have really helped our family save money and stay on-budget.

The first thing I’ve done is take advantage of a low-cost grocery program called Angel Food Ministries. Before I explain it, let me tell you that is seems too good to be true, but it is actually true and I will testify to that! Here’s the dealy-o: Angel Food Ministries has a monthly menu of foods that will feed a family of four for one week. The food is very good quality and is only $25 for one unit (you can order as many units as you would like). You place your order and pick it up once a month at a participating local church. Here’s what I ordered and will be picking up on Saturday, October 27th:

(4) 5 oz. Ribeye Steaks
(1) 3 lbs. Breaded Frying Chicken
(1) 2 lbs. Salisbury Steak Entrée w/ Gravy
(1) 24.5 oz. Supreme Pizza
(1) 2 lb. Chicken Chunks
(1) 24 oz. Pork Roast
(1) 16 oz. Chicken Breast Fajitas
(1) 12 ct. Corn Tortilla
(1) 15 oz. Pork & Beans
(1) 16 oz. Fresh Carrots
(1) 24 oz. Homestyle Hashbrowns
(1) 16 oz. Corn
(1) 16 oz. Bean Soup Mix
(1) 5.5 oz. Pancake Mix
(1) 7.5 oz. Mac & Cheese
(1) 7 oz. Lasagna Dinner
(1) Dessert Item

Yes, my friends, I am getting all that food for $25! The menu is different every month and they also offer a number of specials that you can purchase in addition to your regular order. The specials are such a great deal that we actually bought a freezer for our basement just so we can order additional specials if we like more than one! Here are this month’s specials:

OCTOBER SPECIAL #1
Meat Combo Box $18.00
4 8-oz T- Bones
2 lb. Ribeye Roast

OCTOBER SPECIAL #2
Strip Steak Special $18.00
4 8-oz. K.C. Strip Steaks
4 8-oz. New York Strip Steaks

OCTOBER SPECIAL #3
Family Convenience Meal
Special from Golden Cuisine $18.00
Five Delicious Individual Dinner Entrees with 2 sides per meal:
o Cheese Manicotti
o Macaroni & Beef
o Beef Pattie & Gravy
o Chicken & Noodle
o Chicken Breast & Mushroom Sauce
Includes five breads, five milks, ten margarine cups, and five desserts

Angel Food Ministries has been a real blessing to my family. Go to their website to see if it is available in your area! I strongly suggest you try it, you literally have almost nothing to lose!

The other way I save my family money on groceries is shopping at everyone’s favorite close-out store, Big Lots. I shop there for all our non-perishable grocery items like canned vegetables, soups, spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, mac & cheese, olive oil, breakfast cereal, oatmeal, etc. I also often find baby food there which is great. In addition to food items, I also save a lot of money buying household items at Big Lots like dishwashing detergent, dish soap, laundry detergent, fabric softener, and household cleaners. I usually make a couple of trips a month to Big Lots and if I see a really great deal, I buy it (often more than one of it) whether I need it at that moment or not, as long as I have the money and its something we’ll need eventually. I still shop at the big local grocery store for fresh produce but that’s about it!

All right, so now you all know what a cheapskate I am, but what can I say? I’ve been gainfully unemployed for over five months now and we’re not broke, so it works for me!

For more great Works for Me Wednesday tips, head over to Rocks in My Dryer.

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An Open Letter

To the Guy at the Gas Station Pump Next to the one I was Using

Dear Jerkwad:

It was so nice to see you at the gas station the other day. There’s nothing I like more than pumping gas on a chilly fall day with my two kids in the car, and when the people at the pump next to me are as pleasant as you are, it’s just the icing on the cake.

You know what was really nice? That you were letting your wife/girlfriend/hoochie pump the gas for you. It takes a real man to let his lady pump the gas. But that’s not even what I liked best about you. When you walked out of the convenience store out to the pump and pulled that tiny cigar and shiny silver lighter out of your pocket and lit yourself a smokey treat right there next to a few tons of highly flammable liquid, I thought, Wow, now there’s a man with balls! It’s a real shame Ohio has a smoking ban and you can’t light up wherever you want to – I feel for ya. But the fact that you are brave enough to not only act in civil disobedience but also endanger your life and the lives of others while doing so is just inspiring! I’m so sorry I couldn’t stick around to see the rest of your “demonstration”. I mean it really breaks my heart, but as cool as it would’ve been, I just had too many commitments that day to get blown to smithereens. And my kids, well, they are such a drag, but being part of a huge gasoline fireball wasn’t on their agenda either.

So, I’m sorry that when I saw you light up that cigar, I yanked the dispenser out of my gas tank, slapped the gas cap back on, hopped in my car, and peeled out of there as fast as humanly possible. I hope you didn’t take it personally, though I somehow doubt you would’ve cared. Believe me, I would’ve loved to have shared some precious parting words with you, but the thought of smelling like burnt flesh all day just got the best of me. I guess that’s why I’m writing you this letter. After all, if you continue to make your admirable protests about your right to smoke wherever the hell you want, I may not have the chance to tell you just how much I enjoyed our run-in the other day, and that would truly be a shame.

Hugs and Kisses,

Jenny

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