Small (??) Prices to Pay for a Miracle

We know that any minor inconveniences that come with pregnancy are worth it. We’re thankful we have healthy children. And we really do love our kids.

But if you’ve been pregnant, you know that even though the logical you knows that the morning sickness and cankles will pass (eventually), but it really doesn’t seem that way to your enormously pregnant self. So we’ve made a list of just a few of the fun things that we encountered during our pregnancies.

Small Prices to Pay for a Miracle

 Swollen hands and feet : and by swollen, I mean approximately 3-5 times the normal size. I will never forget the nurse that asked me several hours after giving birth if my feet were still pregnant. Sure enough they were.

Fat face: mine was so bad, I can hardly stand to think about it.

 Stretch marks: everywhere.

Fatigue it’s a darn good thing that Jenny and I worked in the same office (alone, I might add – great thinking, former employers!) while we were pregnant – one of us could be the look-out person while the other one napped on the conference room table.

 Irrationality/emotional instability: our husbands will back us up on this one.

Charley horses: I have a really unfortunate charley horse experience that is too long to tell here, but would be the good subject of a future blog entry.

 Projectile nosebleeds: what does pregnancy have to do with nosebleeds? Oh that’s right, NOTHING is sacred!

Dr. putting her hand up to her elbow in your hoo-ha: self-explanatory

Hips popping out of wherever they’re supposed to be: 
No, no, I’m good, I’m just gonna stand her until my anatomy corrects itself and I can walk again.

Being 9 months pregnant for TWO MONTHS: DO the math

Puking: 
it’s not always just in the morning folks!

Inability to roll over in bed: Having to wake your husband to roll you over is NOT good for your marriage.

Tailbone (aka BUTT) pain: don’t need to elaborate there, either.

Baby squishing your lungs: CAN’T FREAKING BREATHE

Heartburn:  all the time, regardless of what I ate or didn’t eat. It was awful. (And for those familiar with this particular old-wives tale, my baby had a ton of hair.)

25-??? extra pounds: Those question marks should really be multiplication symbols.

So that’s what Jenny and I could come up with… but we know there’s a lot we’re missing! What “small prices” did YOU have to pay for your miracle???

Post to Twitter

Contest: Win the book “Toddler 411”!



Those of you who have been faithfully reading Mommin’ It Up know that we LOVE the books Baby 411 and Toddler 411. We credit these clever tomes with our children’s survival up to this point. Well, now you can win your own copy of Toddler 411 from us here at Mommin’ It Up! “How?” you ask? It’s easy! Simply send an email to at least 5 of your friends telling them why you love Mommin’ It Up and asking them to read it! Include a link to our site and cc Jenny on the email (jenny@momminitup.com) and we will enter you in a drawing to win a brand spanking new copy if Toddler 411. We will accept entries today through Sunday, and the winner will be drawn and announced on Monday July 16th. Tell your friends about us and win!! Questions? Email Jenny. Here’s an example, just for fun:

To: All my friends
From: Me
CC: jenny@momminitup.com

“Dear friends,
Please check out my new favorite website, www.momminitup.com. It’s a blog about motherhood and it’s HILARIOUS! My favorite post is the one about _______. I read this blog every day and you should too! So please check it out and forward this to all your friends!

Love,
Me”

Allright, now quit reading us and go email your friends! (Then come back and read us some more!)

Post to Twitter

X-Rated Arm Fat

This morning my three-year-old Joshua and I were sitting on the couch. I was doing my makeup and he was playing with the fat on my upper left arm. Just why was he doing that? I can only guess it is because I am and have always been his favorite toy, jungle gym, and entertainment center.

As I applied foundation, he squeezed some of my arm fat between his hands. “Look Mommy! Your arm looks like private parts!” Hmm, just the words every mother longs to hear her son say. I looked over to see what shape he could possibly be creating with my cellulite when he stopped doing it. Perhaps it was the look on my face that made him drop the fat, but I didn’t get a look. But somehow my jiggle reminded him of some type of nudey parts. Greeeeeaaaat. Here’s the ensuing conversation.

Joshua: I’m going to tell Pop! (My father-in-law, who we are going to see tonight.)
Me: No, honey, it’s not nice to talk about private parts. We only talk about them with Mommy or Daddy. (Translation:Please for the love of God do NOT tell my father-in-law that my arm looks like private parts, or anything else that might cause him to call children’s services.)

Joshua: Right. I can tell Mommy or Daddy. Or Pop.

Me: No, honey, NOT Pop.

Joshua: Ok.

I have to stop writing now, so I can go get my 3 lb. hand weights and get these vagina arms into a more arm-like shape!! Apparently blogging is not giving them the workout they need!

Post to Twitter