Mommin' It Up since 2004!
Date: 1/02/04
To: Emily
From: Jenny
Subj: I’m huge!!
This baby is going crazy with the rib-kicking! And I’m officially GINORMOUS. Em, I can barely cross my legs anymore. What am I going to do? I NEED TO CROSS MY LEGS!! And my pantyhose are rolling down my pelvic area…gotta go take care of that. I’ll write you later when they’re resting comfortably right below my bra again.
Please take a trip back in time with me, to last spring when I was about ten weeks pregnant with my daughter. I was having a rough time, and I journaled about it…enjoy!
My unborn child is TRYING TO KILL ME.
UNCLE! UNCLE I say! You win, baby! You’re the boss! I keep trying to tell this kiddo that mommy is bowing to his/her authority, but Baby will not listen. And so I must assume that he or she is going to me much more rascally than Joshua. Even though I puked my fair share with Joshua, it was nothing like this. That was a freaking BREEZE. It was mostly in the morning and I could still function. This week I’ve been throwing up morning, noon, evening, night, and middle of the night. And when I puke, I don’t even feel better! I still feel sick! So I’ve pretty much been on the couch or in bed nonstop, when I am not at work. Poor Joshua has not had a very fun mommy and like all good mommies, I feel extremely guilty about that. Although, he does laugh when I throw up and says repeatedly “That’s funny!” so maybe I am a little bit of fun after all.
When I am laying on the couch or the bed miserable, I pretty much concentrate on NOT thinking about being sick. You know, not thinking about how many times I’ve puked, how many different places, how many different types of receptacles. (Example: Monday: Number of pukes: four. Number of places: three – once at work, once at my brother’s house, twice at home. Types of receptacles: two – three toilets and a trashcan. Grossest puke: in my downstairs bathroom when IT SPLASHED BACK UP IN MY FACE!!!!!)
You can see why I try not to think about these things, but it’s nearly impossible! It’s also impossible not to think about FOOD, cause when I do get hungry, I’m usually REALLY hungry but have no idea what I want. When I finally pick something I usually only eat a very little bit and then get turned off. So it’s very frustrating.
I will also say that one of the joys of being pregnant and having a toddler at home is that the smell of Joshua’s stinky poo diapers regularly sends me running to the nearest ralph-friendly receptacle. And THEN, after a few minutes, I have to actually CHANGE the thing. Yikes, that is a pretty big challenge, because I don’t want to a) throw up on my son or b) leave him diaper-less while I again run to the nearest Spewing Depot. It’s quite the quandary.
I sure hope this baby hears my cries of surrender and gives me some relief soon!
Isn’t it funny how even though we’re supposed to be the ones teaching our
children, we learn so much from them? Maybe it is true that everything we
need to know we learned in kindergarten (or perhaps pre-school). Because
many times, it seems like Kate is much more wise than I am.
A couple weeks ago we were driving in the car with my dad, and I was
telling him exactly what I thought of an aquaintance. I was going on and
on about the mistakes I thought she was making, both professionally and
personally (you know, because I have it all figured out… yeah right!)
All the sudden Kate piped up from the back, “Mommy, worry about YOURSELF!”
Touche, Kate.