Scratch That

Potty training is hell!

We tried to do Potty Boot Camp with Sophie this weekend, and it was miserable. It exhausted her as well as Bobby and me. At the end of the day, when I was holding her on the potty while running her bath which she needed because she had peed all over herself like 897 times and she was screaming both for a diaper and asking to be put “straight to bed” instead of having to sit on the potty, I finally thought, “Gee, maybe Sophie’s not ready.”

Here’s what I learned from Potty Boot Camp:

1) Sophie would prefer to use our office chair as a toilet, rather than an actual toilet.
2) Sophie will hold her pee until you leave the room to make her lunch or get her a clean shirt or ironically, check to see that her brother wiped himself correctly after taking a poop.
3) Sophie does not care whether she wears training pants, big girl undies, or a diaper, so long as she can pee in them and not on the toilet.
4) Sophie will not answer questions that contain the word “potty”, “pee-pee”, “poop”, “wet”, or “dry”.
5) Sophie will take a four-hour nap if it means she can get a break from potty training.
6) I would rather give a raccoon a pedicure than potty train my kid.

It was that fun!

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A Fool and His Money…

The other day, I heard Kate yell from the living room, “Mom!! We need to buy Wonder Hangers!” Then she came running to me and said breathlessly “We need to buy Wonder Hangers! You can hang FIVE shirts in the same space it takes to hang ONE on a regular hanger!”

Do you know what she’s talking about? These:
wonder hanger

Apparently they show infomercials on Nickelodeon.

Later, I was bemoaning the state of her room, and she reminded me that her closet would be MUCH more organized if she only had Wonder Hangers.

She’s also convinced that her dad is going to buy her a Snuggie for her birthday.
snuggie

A few days ago, she asked my grandma if she would buy her a BumpIt.
bumpit

Because every five-year-old needs a beehive.

And so it begins. We can’t really hold her responsible for her inclination to be interested in anything marked “As Seen On TV!” The poor girl comes from a long line of people who are suckers for infomercials.

Case in point: Yesterday I actually considered buying her a BumpIt. (And yes, I can see you all cringing.)

I was somewhat concerned about the message I’d be sending to her if I did buy one, though, so I sought counsel from my BFF Jess. I emailed her:

Kate’s the flower girl for the Miss Basketball ceremony at the high school basketball game. The other day she told me she wanted a Bump It and I’m thinking of getting her one for tomorrow night, to give her a cute little hair do. Is that ok or is that crossing the line into cheerleading wigs and high school breast implants??

I knew Jess would give me good advice, and as I suspected she stopped me from hitting the “Buy It Now” button with her response:

Whatever you do, DO NOT BUY THE BUMP IT! I think it’s a fantastic idea in theory, but those things are a piece of junk. I bought them and could not get it to work right and it looked so silly. You should try “making” a bump it by teasing her hair… look online or YouTube or something!

Crisis averted. I did not waste any money or risk taking the first step toward Kate’s debut appearance on “Toddlers and Tiaras.”

So as you can see, Kate’s predisposition toward getting ripped off is an unfortunate side effect of her genetic make up. Need more examples?

My dad is the proud owner of a Swivel Sweeper.
swivel sweeper

Andy’s mom has given us the Pasta Pro pasta pro and the Moving Men moving men (both of which we still use, I might add), and just this Christmas she was the happy recipient of a Perfect Brownie pan perfect brownie (I totally want one of those – I love corner brownie pieces!).

This little “issue” we all have goes back even further in the family tree – recently our grandma told Jenny she wished she had a credit card because they sell a lot of things on TV that she’d really like to have. I’ve made a mental note to keep credit card applications away from her and Kate.

Speaking of credit cards… where is mine? I really want an InStyler.
instyler

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Not a Chance

Tuesday night Andrea, Emily, Cortney, Katie, another Andrea, Tricia, Marianne and some very other cool local bloggers were at Books & Co. for the book signing of our super-cool famous friend Erin Chase and as Erin was greeting all her enthusiastic fans, we sat around and chatted. The topic quickly turned to how fabulous Emily looks after having reached her weight-loss goal with Weight Watchers. Then it turned to what everyone was trying to do to get in shape. Cortney’s working out, Andrea is a runner, Marianne’s a runner…and I…am not. My contribution to the conversation was:

“I’m so out of shape. But, it’s kinda my thing!”

Oh, ha ha ha, Jenny’s so funny…but it’s TRUE! I literally break out in hives when people start talking about running 5ks and half-marathons and crazy crap like that. Eeek!

Then last night on twitter I started seeing stuff like this:

tweetshannan_edited-1

*breaks out in cold sweat*

Eventually it was tweeted as a suggestion that I join this effort, to which I replied, that such would happen when HELL FREEZES OVER.

Then my “friends” thought they would be funny! Andrea tweeted this and it was re-tweeted many times:

tweetandrea

Oh, so, funny, really I am dying laughing. {sarcasm sign}. You girls may know the way to my heart, but you do NOT know the way off my a$$.

Besides, as I think I have proven many times, I can get my own bags of Mary Kay, Lands’ End clothes, and cute boots!

But you know, have a great time doing that 5K! I’ll be cheering you on from the comfort of my cozy Lands’ End sweaters and Sorel boots!

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