Author: Emily

So I know I’ve complained before about how insane Mondays are, but… here I go again.

I cannot – cannot – manage to get out of the house on time in the mornings. Yes, part of my issues would be resolved if I abandoned the snooze button, but some of it is not my fault! I swear, the universe conspires against me. The most random and annoying things happen to me in the morning.

Don’t believe me?

Take a look at how this morning started off.

What is that, you ask? It is the vent cover from my kitchen floor, stuck to the heel of my shoe. Or, I suppose, it originated with the heel of my shoe getting caught in the vent cover, but when I lifted my foot the vent came with it.

It was nearly impossible to get out, which cost me time and also left a big scratch on my new Tom Madden heels.

Yay.

THEN, as if I wasn’t running late enough, I get in my car and am greeted with this.

Although I really can’t say this issue delayed me any because even though my car was CLEARLY out of gas and even though my commute is 30+ miles AND even though I travel with a three year old in tow, I decided to take my chances.

I coasted into the office on fumes, but I made it.

However, not five seconds after walking in the door, I tripped over my own feet and somehow this was the result.

Not only did I use the heel of my shoe to rip a giant hole in my tights, I managed to cut my leg. So, I showed up to a staff meeting in bare legs (in January, may I remind you) BLEEDING. (Thank you Baby Jesus that I had shaved my legs on Saturday. Yes that was 48 hours prior but that is better than 48 days, which is an entirely possible scenario.)

So, let’s review the take-aways from this story.

I should:
A) Never pack my lunch for work, because when I do, I step backwards from the refrigerator and get my heel caught in the vent;
B) Never where four-inch heels;
C) Disregard the gas light warning, because clearly it doesn’t really mean empty;
D) Make it a policy to shave at least once a week, on the off chance I have to throw away my tights;
E) Realize that D is highly unlikely and just wear pants at all times.

At least it was a learning experience.