Author: Emily

Between the two of us, Jenny and I have been on five different kinds of birth control pills in the last year, and all five of them have been horrible. Do you know why? Because BIRTH CONTROL PILLS SUCK.

Until a week ago, I was on Yaz. However, it turns out Yaz has a special kind of hormone that tends to kill women. So call me crazy, but I went to the doc and asked for something else.

So I’ve been on Loestrin 24 for four days now, and call me crazy, but it is making me CRAZY. I am sure you’ll concur by the time you finish reading this post. Or this sentence. Whatever.

Anyway. Pumping hormones into our bodies? It makes no sense.

The feminist in me will always be thankful for the fact that we have any options at all, but why is it that decades after the initial invention we’re ok with the fact that in order to prevent pregnancy, we have to risk blood clots and strokes and general insanity?

This is 2010, for the love of God. We can make sure all 84-year-old men can have erections, but we can’t come up with any options for birth control that don’t have the potential to kill us? Seriously?

I can only imagine what kind of magical prophylactic pills and potions and fruit smoothies would be available if men were the ones who got knocked up.

All I want is to find something that won’t kill me, make me crazy, or make me fat. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently.

The worst symptom of this current hormonal cocktail I’m ingesting on a daily basis is that it’s making me angry. Can you tell?