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Listen Up, NBC

Don’t read this (yet) if you DVR’d The Office last night!
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I want you to know that if you screw things up between Jim and Pam, I am GOING TO BE PISSED.

Really pissed. Like will-stop-watching-the-show pissed. And I am sure I’m not alone.

You created a wonderful love story. We all watched and waited for Pam to finally get rid of that loser Roy, and then we even put up with the Jim and Karen situation for a while. And the anticipation made it all the more wonderful with Jim and Pam finally got together.

When Jim climbed into Pam’s Yaris and kissed her, I was thrilled. And when Jim pulled out a ring box and said he bought it a week after he and Pam started dating… well, it was the most romantic thing I have ever seen. (Sorry, honey).

You totally got it right.

But last night, you led me to believe you may go and mess it all up. And in case I haven’t mentioned it, I do not think that is a good idea!

Here’s the thing. We don’t want to have the Roy-Pam-Jim situation played out again with Jim-Pam-chubby-20-year-old-boy. That is not cool. We don’t want to see Pam go live in a dorm and rush a sorority and pretend she’s a stupid college kid. We don’t. Ok? We want you to continue down the path you started, where the nice guy gets the girl. We want to think that sometimes people fall in love and stay in love and have babies and remain faithful to each other and like it, dammit. Because really, we see enough of the other side of it in real life.

Do you know why every fairy tale in the world ends with “Happily ever after?” Because the Brothers Grimm’s marketing research firm found out that THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE WANT. It’s worked for them for a couple hundred years – I’d follow their lead if I were you.

So please, I am begging you. Don’t screw this up.

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WFMW: Chopping an onion without crying

I like onions more than is normal, I think. When my BFF Jess and I are together, we order pizza with extra onion. That is all, just extra onions. I’m sure the pizza people make fun of us. But anyway, I don’t love chopping onions – I don’t like the crying!

So I was skeptical but intrigued when I read a new tip for tear-less onion chopping – something more simple than storing onions in the freezer or anything. All you have to do is keep your mouth shut. That’s all! Just keep your trap shut the entire time you’re chopping onions, and you won’t tear up. It really works! I promise. Try it out and get back to me.

For other less obscure tips, head over to Rocks in My Dryer!

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While we’re on the subject of my BFF Jess and our strange pizza preferences, let me take a minute to plug her blog. She’s on her third three-week business trip to India this year, and she’s blogging about her experience over there. Her most recent post shows classified ads for arranged marriages! My other favorite posts are “Inflating a Raft Indian Style” and “Ghandi and Boat Rides.”

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Sending out an S.O.S.

Because yesterday, I was in dire straights!

Last week, I mentioned that I’m taking a graduate course this semester. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but yesterday I was seriously second-guessing myself.

You see, it had been pretty easy… class once a week, I can handle that. But this week is where I ran into trouble… because I actually had work to do. And not enough time to do it in.

Add this to the fact that Sammy has now shared his cold with the rest of us, he’s still not sleeping well, and that things are crazy at work… let’s just say I was frazzled. And my lunch hour is no longer a leisurely time of noshing with my friends, but is now an exercise in productivity. Yesterday during lunch alone I pumped, made a pediatrician appointment, got my oil changed and read part of my text book (while watching some awful soap opera out of the corner of my eye as I waited for my car).

Then last night, after dinner and dishes and putting the kids to bed and cleaning up (ok so really Andy did the dishes and the cleaning up parts), I sat down and tried to do my homework.

But first I had to google half of the words on the syllabus just to figure out what exactly I was supposed to do. And then I sent this direct message to Jenny on Twitter:

“I’ll post tomorrow if humanly possible.Drowning over here, which will probably be the topic at hand. Expect much whining and little insight”

Then I sent out a few S.O.S. messages on Twitter, and as is typically the case, received a few positive and motivating responses. It sounds kind of silly, but it really made me feel better. (For those of you who are holding out, you should really join in the Twitter fun. Click on the links in the upper left corner to follow me and Jenny!)

Anyway, after I finally got started, it didn’t seem as bad as I had thought. Eventually, I kind of found my groove. I got some things done, and although I still have plenty left to do (like read the last four fifths of my text book. Before tomorrow.), I went to bed last night with the feeling that maybe, just maybe, I can pull this thing off.

But expect much more whining in the meantime.

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