I just about lost. my. mind.
So, of course, I texted my rage to Jenny.
She always knows just what to say to me.
Maybe, just maybe, I need that medicine after all.
I’m nicer medicated.
A Rough Week in Kindergarten
Tuesday, Sam came home from school with a tooth pushed further back in his head than when he left that morning. Evidently he got in a fight with a fence, and the fence won.
Wednesday, Sam came home from school with a black eye. We’re not exactly sure how that one happened – he doesn’t remember. Whatever it was must have impacted his brain.
I, of course, was out of town on business all week and couldn’t take care of him, couldn’t give him a hug. He was being very well cared for by his father, obviously, but it still hurt my heart that I wasn’t there for him.
And then I read this – an account of nine recent teenage suicides that were a result of cyber-bullying.
Sam’s injuries last week were easy to treat. They were nothing a few popsicles and a super hero action figure couldn’t fix.
His wounds were visible.
That article? Scared me to death. It made me worry about all the pain my kids will go through in the future (and let’s be real – they will) that we can’t see, that we might not even know about. That we can’t fix.
We’re going to have to stay at the top of our game, people. All of us.
How do we do that, though? How do we make sure to stay attuned to our kids? To ensure we not only listen but we hear what they’re saying? How to we keep them coming to us when they’re hurt?
What do we do when popcicles and hugs aren’t enough?
It’s about time we become famous.
So Jenny and I have been spouting nonsense on the interwebs for more than six years now (you have our apologies), but – needless to say – we haven’t really hit the big time. Sure, we’ve found our place as solid C-list bloggers, but let’s just say we haven’t quit our day jobs.
We haven’t gone viral.
Jenny got me thinking about this the other night with one of her “it’s late and I’m grumpy and losing my filter” facebook status updates:
For my birthday I would like for one of my blog posts to go viral so that everyone can write me indignant responses and try to skewer me for making a strong statement from my own point of view. From which, I see life, and which, may not be the same as yours. Somebody get me some candles to blow out. Or maybe I’ll just wish we were all robots of one mind. Wouldn’t that be fun? I have to go write a letter to Miley now. Bye.
I love it when Jenny gets snarky. (Which, seriously, if we want to get famous? We should totally publish our text messages to each other. Because snarky + hilarious = INTERNET FAME. However, we have tried really hard to seem like relatively nice people and it would be a shame to blow that cover at this point.)
So what I’m wondering is, why haven’t we gone viral yet? I mean, we’ve put some funny crap out there. Jenny even tries to tell people how to live their lives! But still, nothing.
Not one person has ever written an indignant response to one of our blog posts.
This must change.
So… what do you think we should do? How can we rile people up? We’re not smart enough to write anything complicated like Syria or the importance of teenage girls wearing bras. But we are the only first-and-fifth-cousin-mom-bloggers in the world, does that count for nothing?
OMG I just googled “viral blog post” and there are like 392 “how to make your blog post go viral” tutorials out there. I clicked on one and fell asleep at my keyboard. I am pretty sure you can’t FORCE something to go viral. That is the opposite of viral. It’s bacterial. (I AM HILARIOUS, HOW ARE WE NOT FAMOUS YET??)
This post is going from bad to worse so I am going to stop it right here, but tell me – how do you think Jenny and I should make ourselves famous? Start hating each other? Become swingers? Join a cult? I am at a loss. Help us out!