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A Pain in the…

I realize the title may be misleading, so let me clarify one thing up front: this post is not about Emily.

HahahahhahahahaHA I crack myself up!

No, no, sadly, this post is about my continuing quest to become geriatric before my time.

Duuudes,  I don’t know what I did to my back, but it’s not getting better. The chiropractor seemed to be helping at first, but now I feel like I’ve taken some steps back. And I’ve been a good girl about doing my $#% exercises and keeping my appointments. (And also? I HATE getting adjusted. I can’t believe some of you weirdos enjoy that. And also? I’ve spent a lot of money on this to not feel any better.)

So far the only thing that really helps the pain is the heating pad and Icy Hot/Ben-Gay patches on my back. I’ve been taking massive doses of Aleve to no avail, so I’ve decided to stop doing that. I’m getting so desperate I am about to hit the mean streets of Dayton and troll for some pain meds (just kidding, please do not arrest me.)

I’ve got another doctor’s appointment this week with my regular doctor and I’m hoping he will prescribe me a magical anti-inflammatory or muscle relaxer or WHATEVER and maybe even refer me to a PT. Although I am going to try to get in with a massage therapist this week as well.

Because being in pain is exhausting. I don’t know how those of you who live with chronic pain do it. It also makes me feel a bit panicky when it’s hurting really bad and I can’t get any relief.

So anyway. I’m feeling like I’m 35 going on 70. With the face, of course, of a 20-year-old. My saving grace, right? Ha ha ha ha ha.

Somebody fix me!

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Oh, the pageantry!

You guys. Season 4 of “Toddlers & Tiaras” is now on Netflix!

So, I will see you in about a week after I watch every single episode.

But I’ve already watched a few, including the one featuring three-year-old Olivia, who is so mean she gives me goosebumps! Fairly sure this one is going to off her mom in the middle of the night.  But that’s ok, because her mom knows that she’s going to go far in life because she’s pretty! As she says, the popular kids don’t get popular by being ugly.

Clearly, Olivia is thankful for her mother’s positive support.

 

So far, my favorite mom this season has been Ca’Trina, who is a devout Pentecostal and “really had to pray about the spray tan” for her 6-year-old daughter, Syraniti. Pronounced “Serenity” – which by the way, breaks SO MANY of my Jenny’s Life Klass baby naming rules. Ugh. But at least she CARES whether or not her -year-old looks like a 30-year-old.

There was actually one mom on this season who said they were about done with pageants because she wouldn’t put her daughter in anything baring her midriff and she didn’t think she would be able to win without that for much longer. Kudos to you, mama!

But anyhoo. Back to the crazies. Eight-year-old Chloe’s mom loves the way she shakes it in an entirely-too-authentic Daisy Duke outfit. And of course, so do the judges. Because you’re never too young to be sexy, OBVIOUSLY!

Which is why every weekend in hundreds of pageants all across America, two-year-olds wear false eyelashes and lipstick.

And I can’t. Stop! Watching!

On Netflix, that is.

Stay tuned next week for a compilation of my favorite T&T season 4 quotes!

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Empathy

Yesterday, Emily and her family buried her grandfather. As she wrote last week, he was a wonderful man and extraordinarily loving grandfather. The grandfather that Emily and I share died well before we were born. We both only had one grandpa, and we both had a really good one.

The service yesterday was in the same room where my Grandpa’s viewing was a little over two years ago, and it brought back lots of memories. Grief fades with time but it can come back to visit at times as fresh as the moment it was new. Emily and Anna grieved yesterday and I grieved for them.

Two years ago at my grandfather’s funeral, Emily sat in the crowd and when it was done, her tear-stained face told me she felt for me. Before we parted, she held me tight.

Yesterday it was just the same. We stood in each other’s places. She in the front this time, me in the back. Before we parted, I held her tight.

There will be a time, I know, when our grief will be the same. I can hardly entertain the thought.

But it is comforting to know we won’t be alone.

Photo Credit: adwriter via Compfight cc

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