Yesterday I read this aphorism on a post by OhAmanda and I can’t get it out of my head.
Wherever you are, be all there.
I struggle with plenty of things regarding all the balls I have in the air, but this sums up the thing I wrestle with most. And what I should strive to do to fix it.
I have an odd ability to tune out sights and sounds surrounding me. I can stare at a television set without any concept of what’s taking place on screen. I can concentrate on a book in the car with the radio on the front speakers and the DVD player on in the back. I find myself saying “oh really?” and “wow” to my kids when I really have no idea what they’ve just told me.
Why? Because I’m not present. I don’t live in the moment. I’m mentally composing blog posts or to-do lists or obsessing over things of little consequence – or worse, I’m reading emails or checking facebook or tweeting – as life goes on around me.
My life, as I’m sure yours does, consists of so many pieces and parts. Family. Household. Work. School (not that I’m currently making any progress on that, but I spend plenty of time berating myself about that fact). Blog. And yes, Facebook and Twitter. Really, that’s ok. That’s how life is – we’re all pulled in so many directions. But I think being all there, wherever that is, might not only produce better results on the task at hand, but just might make the life I experience more meaningful. It might make me more meaningful to those around me.
Wherever you are, be all there.
I’m going to give it a shot.
Been trying this for a few months…it’s not easy, and I’m not always good at it, but it does make a lot of things a lot better! Of course, it’s totally whacked out my time management but I’m figuring things out. Gotta make “all there” time for everything I have to do instead of trying to do it all at once.
And now, I am going to throw my whole self into eating a toaster strudel and then cleaning the living room!
Many years ago I was attending a week long training conference for work and I could only think about all that I ought to be doing at work and the conference leader could read my mind – and, I’m sure everyone else’s, too. She said essentially the same thing as OH Amanda and it really helped.
I think that one of the best ways to show people that we really love them is to listen… to really actually pay attention to what they are saying. It tells them that they are important and that what they think actually matters. One of my friends said that her child once told her, “I know you love me because you listen to me.” I know people can tell when I pretend like I’m listening or try to listen while doing something else. I’m not really listening and they know it. One way I’m trying to be present is not having the internet, facebook or twitter on my phone . Really, like I need to check facebook more often. And like I really need to know the what the person I went to high school with but didn’t even talk to then is having for dinner. Also, I’m turning off my phone during meals that I have with people. I think technology tells us when can multitask, but all it really amounts to is doing more stuff in a crapy way and not really doing anything well. And really, if there is anything I want to focus on doing well, it’s showing the people I love that they matter. Facebook doesn’t really matter, twitter doesn’t really matter. My husband does. My baby, sister, cousins and grandmas matter. If I die tomorrow, I doubt that I will wish I had more time to spend on the computer.
Ok, I’ll get off my soapbox now and stop ignoring my child :-).
I recently posted on my blog about how much I have on my plate and how something is going to have to give way because it’s all just too much. But I think this is part of it too. We are trying to be GOOD at multi-tasking and TOO much multi-tasking and it’s just taking it’s toll on us mothers. This is excellent advice. And in a short and sweet manner. Perfect. 🙂
Such a good post! My favorite doctor, deliverer of my baby, mentor of my career often says, “You can’t multitask relationships.” He means this in reference to the doctor – patient relationship, but I think it applies to all relationships. I’m working on the iphone addiction as its the biggest problem in this regard for me.
Loved your quote! On your thesis…no excuses, you can sleep when your dead.
Haha, that is the pep talk I need!!
I think I’d rather be “all that” than “all there”!
UP
A lot of people have told me that I’m not “all there.”