Double Trouble or Two’s Company?

A couple of weeks ago, Emily posted asking for advice on what she’s in for with having a second baby. A lot of you responded reassuringly that she was going to be just fine! And I’ve no doubt she will be!! Then the other day, I got this query from a reader named Jen:

“I’m halfway through my second pregnancy, so i’m currently contemplating what two kids will really mean (ie. “what the heck was i thinking?!?!?!”) i think you should do a blog about all the little tips for us moms going from one kid to two. =)”

Well, I don’t know if I have any tips per se, but I thought it might be at least interesting to share with you about what it was like for ME to go from having one kid to two. I thought it was pretty challenging. I think that obviously the distance in age between your kids has something to do with it, but I’m not sure what the magic number is as far as age range goes to make it “easier” to go from one kid to two. My kiddos are two years and nine months apart (that’s right, it was “Happy 2nd Birthday Joshua! We just made you a sister!”) and I was realllllyyy hoping to have Joshua potty trained by the time Sophie came along, but that really crashed and burned. So, I had two in diapers for awhile, and then I had the constant fun of trying to get Joshua on & off the potty while I had a baby attached to my boob. This of course happened about 47 times a day. His bladder and her need to nurse were perfectly in sync! I am not exaggerating!! (ok the 47 times part was a bit of an exaggeration. But it was still just about every time he had to pee.)

While the whole nursing-potty thing was logistically difficult, the hardest thing for me to deal with overall was having to care for Joshua’s basic needs when I was SO EXHAUSTED from being up with Sophie all night. I couldn’t nap when Sophie napped during the day, like I did when Joshua was a baby. (Not that he ever kept me up all night. He was way too easy!) I remember one day when Sophie was 4 or 5 weeks old, my friend Megan & her little boy came over to visit and bring Christmas goodies. Well, Sophie had been up every hour on the hour the night before, and I was just a mess. If Megan hadn’t been there I might have just gone out in the cold and laid down in the middle of my busy street and let nature take its course. Those were some tough days, but thankfully I was too out of it to have much of a memory of them now.

Now that Sophie is one, and crazy, and very mobile, my biggest challenge is to keep peace between the two kids. Joshua is constantly getting irritated that his sister is messing up his train track, or chewing on his toys, or something of that nature. But, often, they really enjoy each other and it is so sweet to watch! They love to chase each other around, and every morning when we come downstairs, Sophie howls with laughter as Joshua comes down the steps behind her. It is incredibly heart-warming (sorry that is the only word I can think of to describe it!) It’s nice to know that Joshua will never remember a time when Sophie wasn’t a part of our family. I hope that they will grow up to be good friends, just like my older nerds brothers and I did.

So, there ya go, Jen (and Emily). Once you get over the shock of having a baby that is commpletely and totally different from your first child, it’s pretty great to have two little boogers running around. And Em, just think, it’ll be TWICE the BLOG FODDER!

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What exactly are we in for?

On Friday, we hosted a holiday party for my husband’s co-workers. In the course of the evening, I had the exact same conversation with two different men… both dads, one of two and one of three. Here’s the basic idea…

“Having two kids is SO DIFFERENT than having one. I mean, with one, one parent can be on duty while the other one does something completely separate. Then when you have two, ugh, it’s just so complicated!”

I’ve been thinking about these conversations on and off for the last couple days, and it’s really gotten me wondering… and I thought I’d turn to you all for advice.

Is the switch from having one child to two more or less dramatic than going from zero to one? What are the biggest challenges that come with having more than one? Is what those guys told me just man code for “My wife let me go out with the boys even less after Number Two was born?”

And (for the love of God) please tell me the good things, too!! ‘Cause really, it’s too late to turn this train around, and I could use some optimism. I mean there must be something to it… right???

Then, after you all figure this out for me, maybe we can work on answering the number one most popular question of Friday evening… “Emily, where on earth are you going to put pictures of the new baby? You’re going to have to build more walls!”

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22 down, 18 to go

I’m not trying to put you all to sleep, but seeing as how I can’t hardly remember how many weeks pregnant I am, let alone what is developing with the baby right now, I thought I’d check BabyCenter and see what’s going on with this crazy kid.

And this baby is crazy!! Kicking, moving, turning cartwheels all the time, especially when I’m trying to sleep. (Jenny used to call this “Dance Party at Club Utero” when she was pregnant with Sophie). Let’s just hope the latter isn’t an indicator of the kid’s internal clock. Yesterday and today, though, he or she must be sleeping or something, because I haven’t felt a whole lot of movement. It makes me a little nervous, but I have felt enough to ward off the urge to call my OB in a panic. Other than that, though, everything seems to be going pretty well.

Speaking of calling my OB in a panic, at my last appointment, I informed my doctor that I had diagnosed myself with gestational diabetes. She was not impressed… especially when I couldn’t give her any concrete reasons why. In fact, our exact conversation was “Did you have diabetes last time?” “No.” “Well then you probably don’t have it this time.” But I still think I do. Apparently I have a few weeks to wait before I find out, though. I could always test my blood sugar, as my husband has Type 1 and we have lots of diabetes toys at our house, but I’ve yet to work up the nerve. There are more levels of crazy to this story, but I will spare you.

So onto BabyCenter’s guide to the 22nd week.

Your baby now looks like a miniature newborn, checking in at 10.9 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound (shoot, I was hoping it would say ‘almost 20 pounds’… that would explain a lot). Her skin will continue to appear wrinkled until she gains enough weight to fill it out, and the fine hair (lanugo) that covers her head and body is now visible. Her lips are becoming more distinct, and the first signs of teeth are appearing as buds beneath her gum line. Her eyes are developed, though the iris (the colored part of the eye) still lacks pigment. Eyelids and eyebrows are in place, and her pancreas, essential for hormone production, is developing steadily (go pancreas, go! Don’t wimp out on us like your dad’s did!!).

How your life’s changing:
You may start to notice stretch marks on your skin as your abdomen expands to accommodate your growing baby. Some pregnant women never get stretch marks, but at least half do. These small streaks of differently textured skin can range from pink to dark brown (depending on your skin color), and they become more apparent as pregnancy progresses. They can appear not only on your tummy, but also on your buttocks, thighs, hips, and breasts. Lotions won’t prevent or eliminate them, but they help with any itching. Also, you may no longer be an “innie” — your navel is flat and may soon pop out. It will revert to its usual shape after birth.

Another interesting skin quirk you may notice during pregnancy is something called vascular spiders. These are little areas of raised, reddish skin, with tiny branches. Commonly found on the face, neck, upper chest, and arms, they’re caused by the higher levels of estrogen in pregnancy, and they usually disappear after delivery. (ok well that just sounds awful. I had never heard of such a thing.)

Surprising Facts: Body changes beyond your belly

You expected your belly to grow, and perhaps your breasts too, but the following physical changes may take you by surprise. As with most pregnancy symptoms, you can credit hormones for most of these alterations in your looks. (In other words, a list of things that will make me look awful. GREAT.)

• Thicker, more lustrous hair. You’re not actually growing more hair, just losing less than normal. During pregnancy, your body sheds hair much more slowly than it did before. What to do: If thicker hair is a boon for you, enjoy it. If it’s making your mane more unruly than ever, ask your stylist to do some thinning at your next cut. After your baby’s born, you’ll start to lose this excess hair, sometimes in clumps, so it won’t last forever. (I am actually happy to say that I am experiencing this. I am concerned about my hair being thin above my bangs, so I’m enjoying this while it lasts. I do, however, remember very well the post-partum hair loss. I was definitely looking into Rogaine there for a while.)

• Increased body hair. Sex hormones known as androgens can cause new hair to sprout on your chin, upper lip, jaw, and cheeks. Stray hairs can also pop up on your belly, arms, legs, and back. What to do: Tweezing, waxing, and shaving are all safe ways to manage these temporary changes. (Ok if this is the trade off, I’ll keep my thin hair!)

• Fast-growing fingernails. Your fingernails may grow more quickly and you may notice changes in texture. Some women’s nails get harder, others’ get softer or more brittle. What to do: Indulge in an occasional manicure at your favorite nail salon.

• Skin changes. Some pregnant women report that their skin has never looked better. If that’s you, enjoy the proverbial “glow.” Others find the hormones of pregnancy aggravate skin conditions such as acne. What to do: Talk to your caregiver about safe treatments during pregnancy. Some acne medications pose serious dangers to your baby. (Does this mean I should lay off the Acutane? I thought the pictures of babies with legs growing out of their ears were just for kicks.)

• Larger and darker nipples and areolas. You may find that your nipples and areolas — the pigmented circles around your nipples — are getting bigger and darker. The little bumps on your areolas, known as Montgomery’s tubercles, may also be more pronounced. These bumps are oil-producing glands that help fight off bacteria and lubricate the skin. Some women also notice more pronounced veins in their breasts. What to do: Nothing — all these changes are preparing your breasts for nursing your baby.

• Larger feet. Your feet may go up half a shoe size or more. Swelling is partly to blame, but lax ligaments also make your feet spread — permanently. What to do: Buy a comfortable pair of clogs or slip-ons to accommodate your growing feet. (Re-read this sentence and replace “feet” with “ass.” This paints a more accurate picture.)

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