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Did you see the show last night? If you didn’t and you plan to live under a rock today, you’d ought to stop reading here (and then come back after you’ve watched it, of course!)

Nearly a year ago, I wrote this post about how much my Kate enjoyed watching the show, but how I had some reservations about the interests of their kids. Now those days of questioning whether the world watching their potty training experiences was going to harm the kids’ future psyche seem almost quaint.

We had no idea what a train wreck we were about to witness.

In case you missed it, Jon and Kate Gosselin announced last night that they intend to separate and end their marriage. They plan to split time at their house, so the kids will remain there consistently while their parents swap in and out.

The whole show last night was just so depressing. Kate looked like she’d been hit by a bus, and Jon just looked like an idiot (nice earrings, too bad you’re still a 32-year-old man with eight children). The kids looked… well, I don’t know how the kids looked, because we hardly saw them at all. The show was nearly exclusively focused on Jon and Kate’s marital struggles, and what lies ahead.

A couple things kept running through my mind:

1) I feel so bad for the older girls, Maddie and Cara. I can’t begin to imagine all the inappropriate things they hear at school every day; I bet they get more information from their classmates about their family than from their parents. I wonder how many times they’ve insisted to their friends that their parents are not getting divorced, and at what point they’ll find out that yes, they actually are. I wonder what rumors they’ve heard about their dad’s soirees with co-eds and their mom’s alleged relationship with the body guard. It seems to me that Maddie and Cara might just get the shortest end of this stick.

2) At what point should Jon and Kate put a stop to the wild ride that their show turned out to be? I have to think that their intentions were good at the beginning, and honestly facing the prospect of raising eight kids, who are any of us to say that we’d turn down a lucrative opportunity like that? Especially since in its inception, the show was a wholesome documentary of sorts. What was it, exactly, that made this spiral out of control?

And 3) To quote one Jenny Rapson, here’s a tip: don’t have a tv show if u want to stay together. I mean, let’s look at the statistics here. Did it work for Nick and Jessica? For Jon and Kate? For Flava Flav and that tall scary chick? I don’t think so. They’re great for notoriety, C-list fame and fortune, but as far as maintaining marriage vows, reality shows just aren’t a good plan.

So what are your thoughts on this whole thing? Let’s discuss.

Kate started swim team a couple weeks ago, and let me tell you one thing:

We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

They’ve been practicing daily for three weeks and have had one mock meet and two real ones. There’s a huge learning curve… not so much for Kate, who is learning to swim at an amazing rate, but for her parents.

We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

For the first practice, we showed up with a swim suit and a towel. Promptly after practice, we went out to buy goggles and a swim cap. Who would have thought? For the mock meet, we thought we were being well-prepared by bringing Sammy a baggie full of Cheerios. Never did it cross my mind that swim meets required a three-course picnic meal – not to mention that they necessitate multiple towels, games, changes of clothes, blankets, lawn chairs and coolers.

In addition to the sheer amount of stuff we have to bring, we’ve also been quickly brought up to speed on the requirements of the parents. When we registered her for the team, we had to sign up to work half of most of the meets, but we didn’t know what the jobs entailed and so we just randomly signed up for stuff. On Tuesday, before the first real meet, several of the other parents asked me what my job was that night, and when I said “Something called ‘clerk of course,'” they all laughed and said some kind thing that meant “Better you than me.”

Clerk of course, for those of you as unfamiliar with swim meets, is the person in charge of getting the kids lined up and ready to swim prior to their events. In other words, it’s herding cats. And in addition to me being completely clueless about what the heck I was supposed to be doing on Tuesday, it was pouring down rain. The entire time. That made the meet run slowly, and by the time they called it quits after the first half was complete, it was way past my the kids’ bedtime. In fact, we didn’t pull into our driveway until almost 10 p.m.

Last night we had it a little bit easier – Andy had to write kids’ names on ribbons for the first half and I had to help with the concession stand during the second half. We were somewhat more qualified for those jobs, as he knows how to write and I know how to make change. But still, it was a marathon night, and while Andy took the kids home for baths and bed after the first half, I didn’t get home until after 10.

Really, though, my complaining is my lame attempt at humor – Kate is having a ball with swimming, and Andy and I have been hugely impressed with the parent volunteer orchestration that goes on in order for these events to take place. If every parent didn’t chip in, they wouldn’t happen, and it’s been great to see everyone working together. I’ve also been impressed by the tech savy-ness of the team – they have their own blog and we get automated voicemails when an announcement needs to be made.

Now if only they were on Twitter. Hey, maybe that could be my new job. Germantown Gators Social Media Director. That has a nice ring to it.

Anything but that Clerk of Course.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller??

So, um, Father’s Day is this Sunday, and I have, um, absolutely no very few ideas about what the kids and I should do for Andy.

We’re going to the Reds game, so at least we have our activities for the day planned, but I have no ideas about a present from the kids, which is where you come in. I need help! So of course I’m turning to you.

And for those of you who are in my shoes – here’s all I have to offer. The bright ideas I’ve had the last two Father’s Days…

A personalized galvanized tub:

And a fire pit:

Both were big hits, but I am fresh out of ideas this year… and I’m really a little short on time!

So please, leave a comment with your best Father’s Day present, craft, activity, idea, whatever. Help us slackers all out!