As I mentioned the other day, I’ve had a rough month. I am still getting over the virus from hell. Yesterday I was starting to feel human again but then this morning I woke up with my nose full of snot and a giant headache so who knows? Maybe I’ll just have it for the rest of my life! Anyhoo, I realized that in the midst of my giant pity party, I had forgotten to update you, the Inquiring Minds, on my various and sundry SLEEP problems. And I know you were just DYING to know what’s going on.
On September 21, I had a sleep study done. This is where you go to a doctor’s office with bedrooms, change into your PJs, and let some strange dude hook you up to 27 wires. Many of these wires come out of your head, and he uses a yucky goo to attach them to your very hairy scalp. This takes about 45 awkward minutes, during which your stomach growls the whole time, and you feel so self-conscious about it that you feel the need to comment about it every time it happens.
After you are wired, said strange dude takes you into your bedroom and tucks you in. Thank God they let you take your Ambien CR first cause there is no way anyone could possibly sleep naturally with 27 wires attached to them.
You sleep some, and strange dude comes to re-connect wires twice during the night. You have a really bad dream at one point, and wake up with your heart racing. You bet the monitors attached to the wires are loving this!
At 5:30, Strange Dude comes back in the room to wake you for the day. “Good morning Jenny,” he says kindly. You find this rather odd, since, as you had no wild nights in college, this is the first time since you were a child that a man besides your husband has tucked you in and woken you up in the morning.
Strange Dude takes all the wires off. Your hair stands up matted with goo in many places. It reminds you of the movie There’s Something About Mary.
You drive home to find your husband is sick and you have to take your son to school. You jump in the shower as fast as you can to wash the nasty goo out of your hair. This would not go over well at the Christian school!
You go back to the doctor October 5th to find out if they actually LEARNED anything about your various and sundry sleep problems from the study. You can’t WAIT, because you’d really love to know what the heck is wrong with you!
As I have said many times before, stay tuned…
(and P.S. we are giving away SIX months of Kroger Deluxe ice cream on Reviewin’ It Up! Go enter here!)
Oh Jenny, I pray that they find out what is causing you the lack of sleep. In the mean time, if you need anything at all, call me!
Ah, the sleep study, or as I called it, “the lack of sleep study”. I slept about 45 minutes the entire night. Second time was better, and of course I have sleep apneaas I’m betting you do!). And now, a cpac and the “very sexy sleep mask”. The cool thing is you sound like Darth Vader when you try to talk with it on. Sexy, very sexy!!
UP