Baby it’s cold inside.

If you are my Facebook friend, you may have noticed that I’ve spent a lot of time lately bitching my status updates about our broken furnace. And if you have, you may want to stop reading this now because I am about to rant about it again.

Our furnace is broken and it is making me mad.

A couple weeks ago when we had the occasion to turn it on, we found that while it started up right away and heated up the house quite nicely, it wouldn’t stay on, and it doesn’t kick back on automatically when it should. Which is really annoying. And cold.

So upon that discovery, I called Furnace Fixer Person #1, and he came over to check things out. He replaced a wire, charged us $85, and went merrily on his way. So I’m all, “Yay, it was just a bad wire, score!” Except that after he left, we still had the same freaking problem. So I called him to come back again, and when he was pretty much baffled by the situation and was all “when I light the pilot light it starts right up!” and I was all “Well yeah but it doesn’t stay on.” I could tell he didn’t have a clue what was going on so when he said “I don’t know, it seems to be working, call me if you have any more problems,” I was quite sure that I wasn’t going to be calling him again.

The problem persisted, of course, and so I called Furnace Fixer Person #2, and he came out right away. And then he left right away, because apparently we have something called a Pulse furnace and pretty much no one knows how to work on them. Grrrreat. Furnace Fixer Person #2 gave me the name of a company to call because they do work on our kind of janky furnace, so I called them up. However Furnace Fixer Person #3 could not make the trip all the way to my house. From downtown Dayton, which is, you know, like 10 miles away. Furnace Fixer Person #3 gave me the name of another company to call, but Furnace Fixer Person #4 also does not work on that kind of furnace. (Our furnace must have H1N1 or leprosy or some other kind of awful communicable disease.) So they said to call Furnace Fixer Person #5, who said “Oh yes, we have a guy who is really good at working on Pulse furnaces. And where is your house again? Yeah, I guess we could go all the way out there.”

So last week Furnace Fixer Person #5 came over to sort out the problem, and by this time I was googling terms like “How much does it cost to replace a furnace?” and such, figuring it was a lost cause. However Furnace Fixer Person #5 had good news – the thermostat was the trouble. He could replace it and we’d only be out $189, which, in comparison to the results of my google search was pocket change. Yay! Crisis averted.

And the angels sang.

Yeah, except too bad for us, because it still didn’t freaking work. It will come on if Andy goes down and turns it off and restarts the pilot light, but it won’t stay on. And I am getting so tired of not knowing what’s going on with it, not knowing what it’s going to take to fix it, and of being cold. Being cold is making me grumpy. And the worst part is that while Kate and Andy and I can burrow under the covers at night, Sammy can’t. We put him in like three sleepers, but the poor thing still doesn’t sleep well because he is cold. We put a space heater in his room temporarily, and it makes it somewhat better, but of course I am convinced it’s going to burst into flames at any given moment, so it’s not really the ideal situation.

So, now I’ve got to call Furnace Fixer Person #5 and have him come out again. I may have to hold him hostage until he figures out what the crap is wrong with it and what needs to be done to fix it. I just really, really hope that at the end of the day, I’m not googling “buying a cheap furnace.”

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10 Replies to “Baby it’s cold inside.”

  1. Are Jesus and I going to have to come out there and lay hands on your furnace? Maybe it’s got a demon! Does your priest do exorcisms?? It’s the perfect time of the year for one!

  2. Dad said to call Childers HVAC over in Carlisle. Dad said to use his name that he told you to call them. If repair guy #5 doesn’t work and you know you can only hold someone hostage for so long man!!! Let me know, I also have an electric long heater that you may use. I’m pretty sure it won’t bust into flames….we’ve used it and they are nice. Matter of fact I think we have two and you are more then welcome to them! Let me know what else I can do for you!!!!

  3. As read the story, I was really expecting Furnace Fixer # 4, who would not drive ALLL THAT WAY, to give you a number for Furnace Fixer # 1.
    Good luck!
    UP

  4. I HATE being cold too…ours didn’t work the first day we turned it on this season. Furnace man #1 came out and fixed it :-). It actually wasn’t the furnace it was the thermastat. The man changed out the thermastat and it works perfectly now!! Good luck. I say hold the man hostage until it works :-)!!

  5. Did you try calling the company that makes your furnace and asking if they know what might be wrong with it so you can tell #5 how to do his job.

  6. Omigosh good luck! I keep on thinking of the scene in the Christmas Story movie where the dad has to wrangle with the furnace…

  7. I work with a lot of HVAC techs…I would sugest they look at the ignitor next time someone is out…good luck!

  8. we had a similar problem with a furnace once – and it was gunky buildup in some nozzle thing. replace that teeny dealie & we were set… sorry I don’t have a more exact name for the part than furnace nozzle teeny dealie.

  9. I remember having furnace issues a few years ago… and had no problem pimping out my kids for the guys to get it done FAST and RIGHT. But then again, I don’t ahve a pulse furnace. I also live in civilization, which also helps.

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