The Great Underthong Mystery of ’09

Last night I received an email from my brother, who has two boys, ages nine and eleven. The email was to me and to my other brother, who has four kids of his own. It read:

We partially cleaned the boys’ room tonight. I found the pictured item under their bed. Neither of them will confess to making a custom-made boys size 16 Fruit of the Loom thong. I wondered if one of your kids wanted to confess.

It was accompanied by the following pictures:

when 9 yr old boys get bored

bad things happen to their brothers tighty whiteys

After Bobby and I laughed so hard that Joshua came into the room concerned for our well-being, I picked up the phone to talk to my brother and help him solve this mystery. His kids love Star Wars, so to protect their identities, we’ll call them Luke Skywalker (age 9) and Han Solo (age 11).

Me: Dude, what is THAT about?
Bro: I have no idea.
Me: Anyone confessed yet?
Bro: They both swear up and down they didn’t do it. But it HAD to be Luke Skywalker.

After cracking up a bit more, we hung up. Then later in evening, I got this email:

Luke Skywalker confessed. He said he was playing a joke on Han Solo. He thought, “It would be funny.” (He was right!) Han Solo said he threw them under the bed because he thought Luke Skywalker might get in trouble.

Here’s my question: Did Luke Skywalker just think Han Solo wasn’t going to notice that his Fruit of the Looms now consisted of only three thin straps of scrappy fabric and just put them on? ‘Cause dude, eleven-year-old boys can be clueless, but I don’t think those not-so-tighty-whiteys can get by anyone!

Oh and by the way, the email also said that as soon as Luke Skywalker confessed, he asked, “Do you think this will be on Aunt Jenny’s blog?”

Does Yoda have hairy ears, kid??

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23 Replies to “The Great Underthong Mystery of ’09”

  1. That is toooooo funny! Where do kids come up with stuf like this? may be scissor use should be banned until age 18 🙂

  2. My 4yo daughter puts on my soon to be 17yo daughter’s thongs all the time…she hikes them up over her shoulders and runs around the house saying, “Look at me! I’m the lunch lady!”

    Do you think I should be concerned about what goes on at her preschool at lunch time? lol

  3. I was pretty sure this story was going to end in someone confessing to making a custom “wedgonator”. Very funny! Definitely sounds like something boys would do!

  4. That is one of the funniest things I have ever heard or seen. They will never live that down!! Very funny!! Can’t wait until my boys are doing that or we are doing it to them!!!

  5. Oh. My. Goodness. Just the picture was enough to make me (uh, nearly) pee my pants laughing, but the story with it actually makes it even funnier. So much to look forward to with my young son!

  6. Choice comments from my co-teachers at school.

    I hope that he did not answer you in his best after school special
    voice, “I learned it from watching you Dad.”

    “Did he get this idea going through his dads drawer. (if so I am throwing
    up as I type this.)”

    “Ours [his girls] will start to spend $50 a crack for the manufactured version. He
    was just being thrifty.”

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