That title will apply to Kate if she doesn’t get it together!
I’m not really going to off her, but my goodness there are times I’d like to wring her neck.
Like yesterday, for example.
We were visiting Sleeping Bear Dunes, which just this week was named “Most Beautiful Place in America” on GMA. It is stunning.
We visited last year and had a wonderful time and had been anxious to go again this year. However, as soon as we got there, it was clear that Kate was in one of her “I’m going to be a pain in the ass and there’s nothing you can do about it” moods. Yay!
Unfortunately those moods have been becoming more and more frequent. No matter what we do or where we go, it’s not good enough or we don’t stay long enough or SOMETHING makes her miserable. Which, in turn, makes us all miserable.
Jenny and I have actually both been struggling with this ungratefulness in our oldest children, and we’ve talked about it a lot.
However, we have no solutions.
So, readers, we turn to you. Have you dealt with this kind of thing? Did your kids grow out of it or did you beat it out of them? Or is there a more effective method to change their behavior?
Because seriously, if you can look at this view and STILL be in a terrible mood, I don’t know what to tell you.
My sister, Zola, once said to me, “Nothing was ever good enough for you when you were a kid!” I was quite concerned that I may have been an ungrateful child, so I asked my dad about it. His reply, “Well, there was a lot of room for improvement, and you were never afraid to point it out.” Quite the diplomat, dad was. I don’t feel that my kids were that way, but I can only say, I’d have had to take it in stride if they were. And as to my sister’s comment, I simply replied, “WAS?” Not much has changed.
Get used to it.
UP
My 6 year old daughter has been that way since she was born! Somedays nothing anyone does is right and it is very frustrating! Maybe one day they will grow out of it (or just drive their husbands crazy!)
When my kids begin to complain, I ask them to list 4 things/people they are thankful for. This takes them a while sometimes, but the beauty is, they aren’t allowed to talk until they have the whole list ready, so we all get some peace in the meantime. 🙂 Over time, they have come to take this more seriously and it has slowly improved their perspective. But I don’t think there is an overnight fix for this problem. (If there is, I’d love to hear about it, though.)
My older two have finally gotten old enough that when they say, “That’s not fair,” it’s usually about how they have it good and someone else doesn’t. But that’s kinda a long story – you’ll have to remind me to tell you in person sometime.
One of the things that really cut down on our complaining about getting stuff, don’t have enough, etc. was that we stopped buying things for them except for birthdays and Christmas. We started giving them an allowance and if there is something they want they have to buy it for themselves (except for clothes and necessary stuff). They really pay attention to how much things cost. And now anything we do get them is seen as a bonus! (That and we never go anywhere fun ever so they can’t complain while we are there!)
“like”
I am a mother of 11, ages 18 down to 3. I am no expert, and all my kids are different. If I were to guess, it seems to be an issue of managing a child’s expectations. If they are very emotional and have great highs, then they often have great lows. When you are in the immediate situation, that is probably the worst time to try to “fix it”. I would simply state that they should try not to ruin the fun for the rest of us, be quiet if they have nothing to say that is nice, then not focus on them but on the happy ones. At home would be the time to get them talking about their moods. Sometimes they don’t know why they feel irritable themselves, and you can help them learn gratefulness when you are both relaxed. It is hard to manage emotions, let-downs, etc. and it is a process that comes with maturity. (I haven’t gotten mature enough yet!)
Hope that helps–
Great advice
My 4 year old also is pretty determined not to like anything that I talk up as being fun. For us, I just have to not ask him directly if he likes it. He will say no. But if I don’t ask, he will probably have a good time.
But it might not help my mood if my mom called me a pain in the ass and ‘wring her neck’ on a public forum!
I am so glad my kids are grown and I do not remember the process of getting them there. I think it will pass. When she is having a good time say things like “I am pleased that you are having a good time and are happy…”, or ” it is great to see you having so much fun …” My mother used to say, ” if I cannot enjoy my children they are not going to enjoy me” and she meant it so we usually had a good time or did not let anyone know that we didn’t.
Oh, she was very serious about that!
UP
and here I thought I was the only one that had that issue…but I’ve noticed it more and more hear lately…patience, wing and a prayer and lessons taught thru out is good…I guess…still trying to pin it down!! LOL! 🙂
p.s. BEAUTIFUL pic…postcard quality for sure…margarita’s anyone?! 🙂
That sounds like my son. He is never happy no matter what. We can do exactly what he wants and he will still find something to complain about. It is driving me insane. He is only 4 and I am desperately hoping he will grow out of this and that it is only a phase. Don’t get me wrong I love him more than anything but I wish he was not such a grump. 🙁
That is gorgeous! I showed my husband and he said, oh I’ve been there. I don’t remember it looking like that though. Ha! I’m sure it’s been awhile. I don’t have any good advice, my oldest is only going-on-3. I liked what Patty M. and Sarah B. had to say though! Anyone who says they have 11 children… I listen. That’s a lot of different personalities she’s experienced.
that is absolutely beautiful! My advice, next time you go somewhere, she stays home. Every outing that she can not handle, the next one she doesn’t get to go. Still take the other kids. Leave dad or a babysitter home with her, and let her know that her behavior will not be allowed to ruin the outing for everyone else.
Good luck!