Like pretty much everywhere on the face of the earth, it’s been hideously hot in Ohio for the last week. So, in an effort to beat the heat, we went to our local water park over the weekend. This was smart for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which being A) the temperature is always 20 degrees hotter inside the gates of an amusement park than outside; B) the concrete had soaked up every bit of the heat and was like walking on fire; and C) everyone else in southwestern Ohio had the same bright idea.
Not that I’m bitter.
But the best part is that it was slightly overcast while we were there and, in an effort to not leave as the whitest person in attendance, I decided to forgo sunscreen.
BAD MOVE.
I am so burnt. Those are not my actual legs pictured above (mine are just as red but slightly less hairy) but take that image and apply it to my entire body and that should give you a good idea of what I’ve got going on.
And it’s making me mad. Seeing as how my skin tone is akin to copier paper, I have had a number of bad burns in my life. There was the time I thought putting on suntan oil at the beach was a good idea, and the time I spent a few days on the coast of Spain, not accounting for the fact that I was laying my beach towel directly on the equator. Burning is nothing new to me – but getting mad about it is. I think I am getting grumpy in my old age or something, because this time around any benefit I might eventually get from this scenario (as in possibly no longer being florescent) is vastly outweighed by the fact that I am extremely uncomfortable. And apparently at the ripe old age of 32, I’ve decided that comfort trumps all.
If you need me, I’ll be out shopping for zinc oxide and elastic waist pants.
a) I am REALLY glad you clarified that those are not your legs. b) we should’ve been born 100 years earlier when white was en vogue! c) I can’t wait to hear what Our Uncle of Perpetual Tan, UP, has to say about this!
I too am as white as paste, but have learned to come to terms with it. I have been burned far too many times to want to go there again. Even the tanning bed fried me to a crisp after only 8 minutes in it. Yep, I’ll be white forever, unfortunately 3 of my kids have the paste curse too so they are learning their lesson as we speak. It seems as if no amount of sunscreen keeps them from burning.
For the Love of George Hamilton!
Burning is dangerous! Remember those two greek dudes, Icarus and Daedalus, who flew too close to the sun? 15 minutes of sun is more than enough for anyone on any day.
I rarely get out in the sun. As to the tanning salon, anyone who lets you burn at a tanning salon is a crappy tanning salon manager, and needs to be fired.
Moderate sun exposure is the key.
Even I didn’t get this way over night!
And, you must have gotten that pasty white thing from your inbred DeZarn side rather than your inbred Brads side.
If you’d been born a hundred years earlier, you’d be dead by now, and this really wouldn’t matter at all, now would it?
oops, the Forneys!
Not the Brads – that would be Jenny’s pastiness.
UP
Oh, BTW, put mustard right out of the fridge on the burn, let it dry and take the hottest shower you can. It is supposed to take the sting away.
Seriously, it works!
UP
Dude! Vinegar is less messy and does the same thing. Of course there IS vinegar in mustard.
WEAR SUNSCREEN Do it everyday! At 49 years of age listen to the Jewish Mother in me as I beg of you to wear sunscreen. You have beautiful skin and you want to keep it. Tanning = WRINKLES! AGE SPOTS, enjoy the water but reapply liberally.
Citymom
PS – are those my husband’s legs?
Spray tan is the way to go these days! Coming from a strawberry blonde that burns in the moonlight, trust me on this one! 🙂